Warnings in my eyes
by Urikol
Summary: Canada has lost against Russia in battle, What will Russia do to him?
1. Captured

Who knows, I might continue this. I might not. Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Blood, it covered almost the whole terrain as far as Canada could see. Rain poured down onto him showing no mercy as it stung his wounds. His vision was fading. He felt weak. Canada was supposed to be helping America fight against the Russians, but their side had failed. Russia had won. That was the least of Canada's worries right now, right now, Canada was dying. He tried to move, but he only managed to roll onto his back. He moaned at the pain that flowed through his body. The pulsing headache and sore all over. Not only that, but he was bleeding bad. From his rib to his hip was a big cut. Canada could not remember how that happened, but he did know. He was going to die there. No, he did not want to die. He couldn't, no one would know he was gone. He tried to sit up but couldn't, he screamed in pain as he tried to move. Finally he gave up. He lay there staring at the sky, panting. He tried to keep his vision clear, but almost nothing he did helped.

Then, he heard footsteps, boots in the bloody mud.

"...America...?" Canada said weakly.

The figure loomed over him, casting his shadow on him. This figure was far too tall and big to be America. The figure kneeled down next to Canada's head and stroked his face gently. Canada's vision was clear for a second to see who it was, Russia.

"Such a beautiful boy, yet... in so much pain" He said, smiling.

Russia then went to Canada's side, and carefully picked him up making Canada whimper in small pain.

Russia began to walk off somewhere, Where that was, Canada did not know. He wanted to escape from Russia, but he was too injured to even move let alone fight someone. _What's going to happen to me? What does he want with me?_

Matthew felt himself getting weaker by the second. He could barely keep his eyes open. So, he let himself drift off to sleep.

:::

Canada was awake, but he did not open his eyes, he wanted to sleep more... wait, something didn't feel right, or seem right. He felt, comfy, and dry.

"Will he be ok?"

"Not sure, he's cut up pretty badly on his side"

"Living with Mr. Russia doesn't really make him safe though"

"SHHH! Latvia! Mr. Russia might hear you"

Voices? Where was he? Canada opened his eyes weakly staring at the three men who were staring at him back.

"Oh, he's awake, g-good morning sir, I'm Lithuania"

"I-I'm Latvia"

"Estonia"

Canada was highly confused, where was he? This didn't seem like such a bad place.

"Um, what's your name sir?" Lithuania asked.

"...C...Canada" Canada barely said. He was so weak he could almost barely speak.

"He h-has such a s-soft voice, it's soothing" Latvia said.

"Latvia, don't be rude" Estonia replied.

"W-What?"

"Where, am I?" Canada asked.

"You're at Mr. Russia's house"

Canada found it hard to believe that this nice place was Russia's house. He eyes explored the area around him. Then he saw Russia walk in the living room. The baltics did not seem to notice him there yet.

"Ah, good, he's awake"

"EEK! I-I mean, y-yes sir, he's f-fine!" Lithuania said.

"Good, then leave for now, I'll look after him, you can come back when I say so"

"Yes sir" they all said before leaving the room.

Canada didn't want them to leave though, he didn't feel safe around Russia.

Russia sat beside him smiling. He pulled back the blankets and lifted Canada's over sized pajama shirt, which was probably Russia's and placed his hand on Canada's scar.

Canada gasped from the cold fingers that sent pain into his scar, just by a single touch, "Ah! o-ow"

"Ah, so it still hurts you, it may take a while to heal"

_Heal? He wants to heal me? _Canada looked at Russia with weak eyes. _No, this is a trap, I know it. _

"P-Please... don't play innocent, I-I know what, you want"

"Ah? Then what is it that I want?"

"You... you want to, hurt me... somehow"

"нет, I do not wish to bring harm to you"

Canada did not want to talk anymore, he wanted to sleep more, but, he wondered, why did he not want to hurt him?

"I never had the chance to capture you, and keep you here where you wouldn't run away, but now. I have you"

The way Russia explained things seemed a little creepy to Canada.

"Now, let me heal you"

Canada didn't really have much of a choice, it was either die or trust him, so, he nodded.


	2. Prisoner

Took me long enough, eh? Here's chapter 2, yes I'm actually continuing it. |D This chapters a little short but I'll make longer ones soon. Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Russia left Canada for only a couple seconds before coming back with a cloth and a large bowl of water and some kid of bottle with something in it. Canada was too busy worrying about the pain in his side to care about the baltics who were spying on him and Russia, curiously watching the two. Russia wet the cloth and added some liquid that came from the bottle. _Does he really want to help me? I thought he was a blood thirsty killer..._ Once Russia had finished pouring some of that strange liquid on the cloth. He placed the cloth on Canada's wound, but just a touch from the cloth was enough to sting Canada in great pain making him yelp and whimper. Somehow just that was enough to jolt the energy back into him, but he was still too weak to move. Russia immediately withdrew his hand with the cloth and placed a hand on Canada's forehead, gently stroking it.

"It's going to hurt, just bite your lip if you have to scream" He said trying to calm Canada.

Canada nodded. Russia tried again and Canada did as he suggested. Canada bit his own lip, but he couldn't even do that for long. He tried to be strong, it was just a really painful sting, but 'just' wasn't exactly the right word. His pain combined with this painful sting made things seem almost like torture.

It didn't take long for Russia to finish. He placed the cloth in the bowl and rinsed it out.

"That was supposed to help disinfect the wound, you have a couple other little ones on your body, or so, Lithuania has told me" Russia said.

Apparently Lithuania was the one who dressed Canada in those oversized pj's. But, weren't they Russia's? Still, the pain was only little now, but it remained on his scar for a few more minutes.

"Lithuania?" Russia said as he looked in the baltics direction.

"UH! Y-yes sir?"

"Where are his other scars?"

"Here" Lithuania pointed to Canada's lower left leg, "...and here" then to his upper leg, which, where the scar was, it was so close to Canada's lower half.

"D...Don't" Canada said. He most definitely did not want Russia pulling his pants down to heal a certain scar.

"It will just stay infected if I don't clean it, we need to clean the dirt out of it"

Russia removed the blankets completely, but just before he could touch Canada's pants Canad grabbed Russia's hand in panic, using much of his strength. The baltics gasped, they seemed almost frightened for Canada for doing what he did.

"Ah?" Russia looked at Canada's face, "You are a timid one aren't you?" He said.

"J...Just let it heal... by itself, o-ok?"

"Not ok, if you keep it like this it will only get worse"

"B...But"

Russia immediately ripped the pants off Canada.

Canada gasped from the sudden action. He used up more of his strength trying to sit up to reach for the blankets to cover himself but the pain soon came back into his side and he fell back on the couch trying to breath calmly hoping the pain would ease. This completely wore him out. _Am I so weak now, that I can't even sit up?_

"Don't even try, even if you weren't hurt, you'd have to listen to me"

"W...What?"

Russia grinned, "I captured you, weak or not. Fair is fair and you are my prisoner"

_Prisoner? What? I-I can't be... a prisoner, but. I am? _

Russia wet the cloth again and added a bit more disinfectant on, then placed the cloth on Canada's leg scars. The scars were little compared to the other one, so they didn't hurt so much. Still, the feeling of someone touching his bear skin, on his upper leg, it was strange and uncomfortable to Canada, but he tried to ignore it. Right now he had bigger problems.

The only reason Russia was taking care of him was because he wanted to boss him around when he got better, probably. What had Canada gotten himself into? Who knows what Russia had planned for him?

Canada thought hard of any way to get out of this, but nothing good came to mind. How could he escape from this?

"There, you should be good to walk in a few days... and I expect you to do as your told while you're here"

Russia then stood up and walked out, but before leaving he looked at Lithuania and told him to watch over Canada, Lithuania nodded. Lithuania went to Canada's side and tucked him in. Canada felt a little awkward still being pant less, but, at least he had comfortable blankets to hide his bare legs.

"I'm sorry about Mr. Russia, he's kind of... scary"

Canada nodded. Russia was pretty frightening, based on the rumours he heard about him, but still, Russia did save him from death, even if it was for selfish reasons.

"What will... happen, t-to me?" Canada asked with much worry on his face.

Lithuania only looked at him for a second, but he did not answer as he looked away.

Canada didn't like this, this silent treatment. It only meant bad news for Canada.

"You should rest, you've been through a lot" Lithuania said.

Canada didn't want to rest, he wanted to know more, but he was so weak at the moment, and so tired. He didn't bother debating about anything. Canada simply closed his eyes and fell asleep.

:::

Later that night, Canada awoke to the sound of the door slamming shut. He listened carefully for anything else, but all he heard was big footsteps, probably Russia's, making their way down the hall, then, the door to a different room down the hallway slammed shut. Canada only wished he could see what was going on, but that would have to wait until he was better. For now, he needed the sleep.

XXX

Wait till next update. owo


	3. Sorrow

I'm still working on Students pet, so don't worry, the next chapter just needs some serious re-editing, but 'm almost done it. Anyways, enjoy this story chapter.

XXX

Canada felt better, much better. Though he felt a little sore from lying down, perhaps the couch wasn't all that comfortable. He groaned and stretched. After he yawned and rubbed his eyes. _Where are my glasses?_ Canada looked around the place, when he got out of bed he realized he still didn't have any pants on.

"E-EEP!" He immediately grabbed his pj pants that were still left on the floor, for some reason, and put them on. They barely fit him, at least the top of the pants was able to tighten if Canada tied the strings together, which he did. The pants were loose at his ankles, and his sleeves were oversized. Canada spotted his glasses on the coffee table. He picked them up and put them on.

Canada walked towards the kitchen and peeked in to see Lithuania and Russia there, Lithuania was making breakfast it appeared and Russia was simply watching. Then, Russia turned his head to see Canada peeking in at them. Canada winced back a little trying not to get caught, but it was too late for that.

"Canada~" Russia said, "Come here, don't be shy"

Canada did as he was told shyly approaching Russia. He looked up at him nervously. What did Russia have in mind for Canada? It was a little scary thinking about it. Russia didn't exactly have a good reputation for kindness.

"You are awake now, that is good" Russia said.

Canada nodded not saying a word.

"Since you are well, I will lay down the rules now... You will address me as Mister Russia or sir, or both, you will obey my every command or else I will have to punish you, and you will answer me when I talk to you"

"Y-Yes sir"

Russia smiled, "Good boy"

Russia then headed for the door.

"Where a-are you going, um, s-sir?"

"To get you some clothes, you can't wear the same ones everyday and I won't let you be wearing all my clothes"

"Oh. O-ok Mr. Russia"

Russia then left closing the door behind him. Canada only watched. He sighed to himself _Why was Russia up last night? _

"Well, it's good to see you're finally awake" Lithuania said as he carried out the food to the table.

"Y-Yes, thank you"

"You were asleep for five days"

"F-Five days!"

"Yes, I think it was a coma you were in"

How could Canada have been in a coma? It was strange, that would explain why he's better all of a sudden, but still...

"Well, eat up; we've got a long day ahead of us, as always"

"As always?" Canada asked as he sat down to eat.

"Um, well just eat up"

Canada stared at Lithuania with a curious expression, but he shrugged then looked down at his food, it was strange, but he ate it anyway.

"What are we having for lunch?" he asked.

"Uh? Well... first we're going to start off with botvinya"

"O...Oh"

Canada had no idea what botvinya was, he didn't care to ask either.

"Then, I'm not too sure, I'll have to see what we have"

"Ok"

Canada and Lithuania ate in silence, Canada had so much to ask, but thought it would be rude and, probably annoying to keep asking questions.

Soon enough Latvia and Estonia came downstairs, they sat down at the table and ate their food quietly as well. Canada stared at the batlics. They seemed so loyal and well mannered. Was it because Russia scared them into this? Or were they always this way? Canada continued eating, _This isn't the kind of food I'm used to, but this is what I'll have to live off of... for the rest of my life._

A tear came down Canada's face, he wouldn't be able to go where he wanted, do what he wanted... maybe not even see his own brother... most likely nobody knew he was gone anyway, no one would know, ever... Canada was pretty much a slave for Russia.

"Canada?" Lithuania said.

Canada looked up at Lithuania unaware of the tears in his eyes.

"C-Canada, you're crying"

"E-Eh? I-I'm sorry I was just thinking..."

Lithuania took a hankie out of his coat pocket and began wiping away Canada's tears.

"Don't worry Canada, if ever you need help with something just ask me, ok?"

Canada nodded and smiled through the tears. Lithuania certainly was a kind man; Canada thought he could become fast friends with him.

"Ah? What's going on here?"

"Ah! oh um," Lithuania said as he stood up immediately, "Nothing much j-just talking"

Canada looked at Russia seeing that he had some Russian clothes hung around his arm.

"T...That was, fast" He said.

"The store's not that far" Russia walked over to Canada and gave him a blue almost dress coat like clothing, "Go put that on" Russia said pointing to a certain spare room.

"Y-yes sir..." Canada said as he stood up and headed for the spare room to change.

Once inside the room Canada took off his pj's and put on the clothes given to him. Once in the new outfit, he looked in the mirror. He did feel kind of strange wearing Russian clothes, but it was comfortable. He came outside and watched Russia as he talked to the baltics.

"I'll be going for a walk now" Russia said, he looked at Canada, then smiled, "And I'll be taking you with me"

Canada felt a little uncomfortable with Russia smiling at him the way he was, it looked dark.

Still, he went to Russia's side and the two headed off to, wherever Russia wanted to go.

Russia and Canada first walked through a nice park. It mainly had snow everywhere, but it also had a beautiful stream and a nicely decorated bridge. The trees stood tall, no wind, just silence in the air besides that of people around them talking. The stream flowed calmly and the water looked so clean. It was beautiful.

Canada silently admired his surroundings. A small smile appeared on his face as he looked around. If there was one that made him happy, it was nature's beauty.

"You like it here, Da?"

"eh? U-um... I was just admiring how, beautiful, this place looks"

"Da, it is... but I do not like the snow"

"Why not?"

Russia did not answer; perhaps the snow brought back painful memories, maybe he just simply didn't want to say, but still, they walked on following the stream.

Soon enough, they reached a lake. It was frozen over, unlike the stream, but the ice seemed too thin to walk on. It wasn't like they would be walking on it anyway, but still it was good to take note of this.

Russia sat down near the frozen water and lay against a tree to rest. He only stared at the sky doing nothing more than just that.

Canada sat down across from Russia just watching him. Now that he took a good look at him, Russia did seem pretty handsome. Canada did not think much of it though.

He remained silent, he didn't want to disturb Russia from any daydreams he might be having. So, Canada decided maybe he could daydream, about freedom? How good it was? No, that would only make him feel much worse once he came back to reality. How could he dream? It just didn't seem right to do so at this moment. Canada just pulled his legs close to his chest and hugged himself.

This is what he'd have to get used to. This was his fate.

"...Canada"

"Yes?"

"You haven't said anything to me"

"I-I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to be alone with your thoughts"

Russia glared at the sky. Apparently Canada said something that upset him, Canada didn't feel to safe at the moment.

"...Just talk to me..."

"ok... um" Canada wasn't much of a talker, but he tried his best to come up with something to say, "What's your favourite flower?"

For a second Canada thought that was a silly thing to ask, but, it put a smile on Russia's face.

"The sunflower" He said.

"The sunflower?"

"Da"

"I see, it is a very beautiful flower it reminds me of the sun"

"Da, it looks so warm and accepting to"

Accepting? Why would he use that word? The way he said it though, it was sad.

"I'm sorry if I brought up something terrible"

"нет, keep going"

"Um..." Canada could feel himself getting a little cold, he wanted to go back, but would asking Russia be ok? Instead, he kept the conversation going without complaining, "What about your favourite food?"

Russia giggled. He looked at Canada as he smiled.

"You haven't told me your favourite flower, Canada"

"Eh? Oh um, well... It's not a flower, really, I like a certain leaf"

"What kind?

"The maple leaf"

"Ah. Now, it's my turn again. My favourite food is Borsch"

"oh, mine is pancakes with maple syrup on top"

"Keep going"

Ok... What's, your favourite-"

"Canada" Russia said cutting Canada off, "Are you just going to ask me what my favourites are?"

"U-um, w-well, I'm sorry I-I uh, um"

Canada tried hard to think of something else to talk about. Russia got up and kneeled in front of Canada. Canada looked up at him with shy eyes.

"You are not very good at this are you?"

"...no sir"

Russia stood up and walked off and Canada did the same following him.

"Let's head home" Russia said.

"Ok" Canada answered.

XXX

Wait till next update.


	4. Light or Dark

Sorry for the long wait. I've had a major writers block and have been busy so I'm sorry. Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Back home, or, at least this was Canada's new home now, Canada sat in the living room thinking to himself all he could hear was the clock ticking and the baltics whispering about him. He didn't mind it much though, he simply ignored them.

"He's been sitting there for a few hours now" Estonia said.

"A-Are you sure he's alright?" Latvia asked.

"Yes... he's just going through so much right now" Lithuania answered, "Poor guy, he's taking this hard"

"Well, he is a westerner, they take their freedom quite seriously"

"What are you three doing here?" Russia asked wearing a creepy smile.

Estonia and Latvia froze in place and slowly looked behind them as they trembled in fear.

Lithuania did the same, only he was the one to speak,

"W-We were just c-checking up on C-Canada, sir"

"Oh really"

Russia walked over to Canada and stood right in front of him. Canada snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Russia.

"I have a job for you"

"Yes sir?"

"I want you to clean this entire house... Every inch of it"

_This whole house!_ The house was so big it was impossible for just one person to clean it. It would take hours.

Russia leaned in close to Canada's face and smirked.

"Do I make myself clear, Canada?"

Canada nodded before remembering he had to answer Russia.

"Y-Yes sir"

"Good"

Russia then walked off to the hallway, but he turned around and crossed his arms as he looked at Lithuania.

"show him what he needs to do"

"Y-Yes of course sir" Lithuania said as he walked over to Canada, "Come, Canada"

Canada followed Lithuania to a closet somewhere in the hallway just under the stair case. He opened it and handed Canada a broom, duster and dust pan.

"Start off with these and well, I believe you know what to do with those..."

"Yes"

Canada put the duster and dust pan aside and starting sweeping the floors. As he did so, Lithuania went back to Russia.

"Lithuania, you will cook dinner" Russia said as he pointed to the kitchen.

"Yes sir"

Lithuania walked into the kitchen and began cooking right away. Russia then turned his attention to Estonia and Latvia.

"You two... will clean the outside of my house"

"Yes sir" Estonia said.

"B-But it's so cold and i-it's getting dark, uh, s-sir"

"Latviaaa!" Estonia shouted. He immediately covered Latvia's mouth and ran outside with him after quickly putting their coats on.

Canada saw the creepy smile on Russia's face, though, he looked a little annoyed. But, he said nothing as he continued cleaning.

Canada worked hard for hours, once he was finished the downstairs he worked upstairs, he dusted the counters and hard to reach places. He swept and mopped all the floors, he cleaned all the windows and even cleaned the walls and ceilings. He cleaned lamps, curtains dressers beds and after supper he cleaned the dishes and the entire kitchen. He worked upstairs and downstairs over and over. Seven hours passed by, it was three in the morning when he had finally finished. He was so exhausted; he just wanted to fall into bed and sleep. He didn't even have the strength to walk all the way upstairs. Canada just decided he'd collapse on the ground, so he did. He closed his eyes, but before he could even get too comfortable he heard footsteps coming towards him.

Canada opened his eyes in time for the footsteps to stop right in front of him. He looked up with tired eyes to see Russia was looking down at him. Canada did a good job right? He cleaned everything... Was Russia watching the whole time?

"You're tired already?" Russia said.

Canada felt a little anger in his heart for Russia at the moment, but even if he wasn't tired, he wouldn't show it. _...jerk..._ he thought as he looked away closing his eyes. Russia wasn't going to do anything for Canada anyway, but Canada awaited any punishment that came his way. A smack to the face, a kick in the stomach, anything. He then felt Russia's hands on him. Canada was too tired to move away so he let Russia do what he wanted, but Russia did not hurt him. He picked him up in a bridal style and headed upstairs. It was strange, he was so caring right now, he didn't seem like such a bad guy.

"You do realize, you'll just have to get up in two hours from now, Da?"

Ok, maybe not all that nice, but still, Canada believed there might be a small light in him just trying to shine through the darkness. Once Russia made it to the baltics room, he lay Canada in the bed gently. The baltics all had to share one really big bed, there was enough room for at least five.

"You'll have to tuck yourself in, I'm not going to mommy you"

Canada couldn't help but smile at him.

"I know" Canada said.

Russia nodded and left the room closing the door behind him.

Canada began undressing, once he was in nothing but his underwear he stared at the clothes, they looked too much like pj's to be underwear. He shrugged and decided he'd sleep in them. Once he put his glasses on the small dresser next to the bed, Canada tucked himself in then yawned before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

:::

Two hours later, Canada could feel someone shaking him.

"Wake up Canada" Lithuania's voice said.

"I don't want a burger, Alfred" Canada groaned as he turned over in his sleep.

"Uh? P-Please Canada, you have to get up"

Canada did not want to get up, he wanted so sleep so badly. He lifted his head to look at Lithuania and stared at him with tired eyes. His hair was a little messy too.

"When did you go to bed last night?"

"Umm... t-three... in the-" He yawned, "M-Morning..."

"Oh, I see, that will happen sometimes, though, it happened a little too early for you" Lithuania said as he hopped out of bed, "Well, get up, we have work to do"

Canada rubbed his eyes, then crawled out of bed and lazily got dressed.

Suddenly Canada and Lithuania heard a huge SLAM as if the door downstairs had been slammed open; the two immediately ran downstairs to see what the problem was only to find Russia at the broken door.

Latvia was trembling as he hid behind Estonia. Russia stumbled in with a bottle of vodka in his hand and an angry expression on his face.

"I know, what you all want" He said.

Estonia backed away with Latvia, Canada and Lithuania remained at the foot of the stair case watching. Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia, they all seemed so frightened right now, especially Lithuania. Was he really this frightening when he was drunk?

"You all want, to leave" Russia said as tears filled his eyes, "I won't let you!"

Russia marched towards the baltics, Estonia and Latvia immediately ran away, Lithuania tried but Russia quickly snatched the back of his jacket before he could get away.

"N-NO! MR. RUSSIA PLEASE!" Lithuania begged like there was no tomorrow, and there might not be for him.

Canada stared, shocked. _What's going on? What is he doing?_ Russia began dragging Lithuania down the hall, no, Canada could not allow this. Lithuania was too kind to have this kind of treatment done to him and whatever Russia had in mind for him, he didn't want to know, but he had to stop him. Canada grabbed Russia's arm not even thinking there could be a consequence for this.

"STOP THIS PLEASE!" He yelled.

Russia let go of Lithuania giving him the chance to run away but he quickly grabbed Canada's hair and lifted him off the floor making Canada scream in pain.

"Fine, if you want to take his place, you will..." Russia said as he glared.

Russia dropped Canada only so he could grip his hair again once he had fallen on the floor. He dragged Canada ignoring his screams. As soon as he reached the end of the hallway he opened the door waiting for them and entered closing it behind him. Russia threw Canada in front of him. Canada was too worried about his current pain, that he did not see Russia take the whip that was hung on the wall. Russia raised the whip high and before Canada could even turn to look at Russia the whip struck Canada's back causing him to scream in great pain once more. He quickly fell to the floor. Canada weakly tried to get back up but then Russia struck again making him fall back down. Russia repeatedly struck the screaming boy until he cried and bled. Finally, Russia stopped. He walked over to Canada, and leaned over him. He stroked Canada's hair and grinned.

"You are so much more fun, than Lithuania" He whispered into his ear.

Russia stood up, then walked out of the room taking a swig from his vodka. Canada didn't open his eyes, but he cried, tears streamed down his face nonstop, he cried in pain, in misery. This is the life he'd have to get used to, to live in fear. What had happened to that light inside of Russia? What went wrong? Then he felt a gentle hand placed itself on his shoulder. He opened his eyes. It was Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania was there too.

"I'm so sorry Canada... I should have told you about this" Lithuania said, "I...I didn't, expect him to get drunk so early"

"We're here for you now, i-it's ok" Latvia said soon after.

Estonia nodded.

Estonia helped Canada up and they walked out of the room as the other two baltics followed. They peeked out of the hallway, no Russia. Estonia took Canada's coat and under shirt off first then let him lay on the couch on his stomach. His back was in too much pain to pretty much touch almost anything, and the scars looked pretty bad. Lithuania got a wet cloth and began cleaning the scars.

Even with their help, even if they were scared of Russia too, even if they were so kind to him, Russia seemed almost kind at first too. Who's to say they wouldn't do the same? Perhaps this entire house was mad. From that horrible experience, it had turned Canada into a frightened child. A child living in an abusive family... of strangers. Canada closed his eyes and let the tears run down his face. Then he felt a hand on his face, a hand holding a tissue that wiped away his tears. He opened his eyes to see Latvia was the one wiping away the tears. Lithuania looked at Canada with a sympathetic face.

"...I cried too, the first time it happened" Lithuania said as he continued cleaning Canada's wounds.

"Lithuania..." Canada said softly yet with a shaky voice as he clutched the pillow his head lay on.

Lithuania stared waiting for Canada to say what he wanted, he didn't. However, It didn't take long for Lithuania to figure out what Canada wanted to say, he could see it in his eyes. Lithuania smiled softly.

"Don't worry Canada, we won't turn bad on you, just sleep. You really need it..."

"...But Russia..."

"He is out for now, Latvia will keep watch at the window to see if he's coming and i'll wake you once he does come, alright?"

Canada nodded slowly before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

XXX

Wait till next update.


	5. Risky move

Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Canada woke up on his own. He sat up and looked around the area. _Where are the baltics? _He thought. He spotted Latvia still watching for Russia, peeking out the window as he occasionally took sips from his soup. Canada got off the couch and headed for the kitchen to see a big silver pot on the stove. He took the lid off to see a red coloured soup inside, still hot.

"It's Borsch" Lithuania said as he entered the kitchen.

Canada looked at Lithuania then back at the soup once Lithuania was beside him. So this was Russia's favourite food? More strange food.

Canada's stomach suddenly growled making him blush in embarrassment.

"E-eh, u-um..."

Lithuania smiled as he opened the cupboard and took out a bowl then filled it with some Borsch.

"Here" He said giving the bowl to Canada.

Canada smiled shyly, "Thank you" he said before taking the bowl to the living room.

He set his bowl on the table, but before he ate Estonia walked in the living room carrying clothes in his arms.

"Oh good, you're awake. I brought you some new clothes" He said.

Canada nodded as he thanked Estonia. He took the clothes and entered the change room and put them on. After checking to see if it was on right, he exited the room, sat down on the couch and ate his soup. Like everything else he's eaten here, it was strange. He did not complain nor throw it away, just because it was strange didn't mean it wasn't good, which it was. Or so, that was his opinion. This made him think of America. If you gave him this soup and told him it was Russian made soup, he'd turn his nose up at it right away, but if it was American made, he'd try it first. It didn't take long for the homesick feeling to come back. It seemed that every time Canada ate here, he'd think of all the food he was used to. He continued eating, keeping a straight face. After he had finished his soup he remembered Kumajiro, he was alone back at home. Still, the polar bear would know how to take care of himself, but Canada still worried about him. Canada grew bored of thinking, he was bored of almost anything right now. Was there anything to do here? He got up and took his bowl to the sink and placed it in there. He then looked at Lithuania who was cleaning the dishes and Estonia dried them and put them away. He didn't see Latvia, was he still looking out the window?

Canada exited the kitchen and walked over to where Latvia was sitting and tapped his shoulder lightly.

"excuse me" Canada said softly.

Latvia looked up at him waiting for him to say something else.

"I uh, you don't have to look out for Russia anymore"

"N-No, I want to. I-It makes me feel better to keep watch, that way I'm doing something useful"

"But... aren't there any games to play?"

Latvia shook his head, "Not for us, u-unless you like Russian Roulette"

Canada knew enough about Russia to know what Russian roulette was.

"N-No... thank you, but no"

No wonder they were so miserable, not only because of Russia, but they were pretty much slaves to him.

_Russia hasn't come back yet, is this normal?_

"When does Russia usually come back?"

"Right now! Here he comes!" Latvia said as he ran to the living and immediately sat on the couch to read a book, or fake reading the book anyway. Lithuania and Estonia were already busy doing something.

Canada looked at Latvia then at the kitchen where the other two were, not knowing what to do.

He was confused, was just standing out in the middle of the hall doing nothing so bad?

He quickly tried to think of something to do as he ran to one place then another.

"What do I do!" He asked panicking.

"F-Find something! Anything but nothing!" Latvia said.

Canada looked around. There wasn't much of anything to do. He was so scared of what might happen if he didn't find something to do that he couldn't think properly. He ran back in the hallway just in time for the door to open. It was no other than Russia that came in. Russia stared at Canada's troubled face curiously. Russia giggled before approaching him. Canada had to think of something fast, suddenly he hugged Russia with little tears coming down his face as he smiled in fear.

"W-Welcome home Mr. Russia It's so great to have you back!"

The baltics stared at Canada as if he just signed his own death warrant.

"Ah?" Russia said still staring curiously at him.

"I-I was waiting for you to come home, waiting right here c-cause I thought you might have wanted a hug?"

That was stupid to say, no doubt. Canada wished he could have died right there.

_I'm gonna die_ He thought. Then, he felt a hand placed on his head and patted him.

"Thank you Canada, I never got a hug before" Russia said smiling.

The baltics stared at them amazed. His plan actually worked? No one would even dare touch Russia let alone hug him, but Canada's plan worked.

Canada let go of Russia only to be pulled back into the hug.

"M-Maple!"

Russia held on to Canada tightly still smiling at him.

"Keep hugging me" Russia said, "I like it"

Did Canada just get on Russia's good side? _Well, Russia is pretty comfy..._ He thought as he hugged him back. It didn't seem like Russia was drunk anymore anyway. So, Canada didn't have much of a problem with being so close to him.

"D-Don't you get hugs from your sisters, sir?" Latvia asked.

The other two baltics looked at him with weird faces as if saying 'don't ruin his happy side you idiot'.

"Yes, but not like this" Russia answered too happy to care if Latvia said something to piss him off.

Russia looked down at Canada who was looking back up at him waiting for him to let go.

"You are my new favourite, Canada" Russia giggled.

"Oh?"

"Da!"

Russia let go of Canada and walked to his bedroom cheerfully.

Canada smiled happy about his accomplishment, being Russia's favourite might be a good thing.

"Canada?" Lithuania said.

Canada looked back at the three who, didn't seem as happy as he was.

"W-What?" Canada asked, nervous about their expressions.

"Y-You just became Russia's new favourite..."

"S-Should I get the violin?" Latvia asked shakily.

"No Latvia"

Lithuania walked over to Canada and gave him a sympathetic look.

"Y-You see. I was his favourite"

"I-I'm sorry" Canada answered quickly.

"...Don't be! It's... just that, um..." Lithuania poked his fingers together trying to say what he wanted, "If you're Mr. Russia's favourite that means he'll bully you the most... which means more beatings and whipping"

Canada's jaw dropped as his eyes widened. He didn't get on his good side as much as he thought. He only made things worse, much worse.

XXX

Wait till next update.


	6. A taste of your medicine

Enjoy. ^^

XXX

"A-Are you certain?" Canada asked desperately hoping that Lithuania was joking. Besides it didn't sound right, right?

Lithuania nodded not changing his expression. He meant what he said, he really was serious.

Was a hug really that bad to Russia? He seemed to like it, how come he'd still be cruel to Canada, even after that?

"So, he didn't like the hug..."

"Oh no, he did... it's just that, he's always tortured his favourite. I'm not too sure why though"

Then, Russia came back downstairs smiling at the four men.

"Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Canada~" he said cheerfully.

"Y-Yes sir?" They all replied.

"I have a conference meeting tomorrow and I want to bring you all with me"

"T-That's great Mr. Russia!" Lithuania said faking a smile.

Yes, it was great. _Perhaps I could be saved, I could talk to England, or America... maybe not America. America would most likely rub it in my face that I got captured. Yes, I'll talk to England for sure. _

Canada was excited to see everyone, they'd help him out of this mess for sure.

Russia smirked and motioned his finger for Canada to come over. Russia must have seen Canada smiling, and probably knew he had a plan. It didn't take long for Canada's smile to fade though. He approached Russia nervously barely looking up at him, but his eyes stayed on him.

"Follow me" Russia said as he turned and walked through the hallway, Canada followed.

_What is it now?_ _Is he going to punish me again?_ Canada swallowed hard trying to assure himself it'll be alright, but that didn't help much when he realized they were heading to the room at the end of the hall. Canada stopped in place and froze. _A-Again? He even does this sober!_ Canada stepped back a little, he did not want to have to go through with that again, especially not in the same day. Russia probably noticed Canada had stopped. He looked back at Canada strangely. He walked over to him and grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room forcefully as Canada yelped at the tight grasp. Russia closed the door behind him leaving the baltics behind to feel sorry for Canada. Russia let go of Canada and turned to look at him. Canada could not help but tremble as he stood there, staring back at the merciless Russian.

"Canada" Russia said with a smile, "I want you to do something for me, you will be cleaning outside my house... but" Russia headed to a closet in the room and pulled out a black maid dress, "Since you are my new favourite, you will be wearing this"

W-What!"

"Hmm?" Russia walked over to Canada a little too close for comfort, and stared down at him with a menacing grin, "Is there a problem Canada?"

Canada immediately shook his head knowing what might happen to him if he didn't agree to this. This was probably why Russia brought him into this room, to threaten him better into wearing the dress.

"Good"

Russia pushed the maid dress to Canada almost making Canada almost lose his balance at the strong push.

"Get changed in here" Russia said as he headed to the door.

Russia exited the room to leave Canada to change closing the door behind him shut.

Canada stared at his new clothes.

"He wants me to clean the outside of his house in this? Didn't Estonia and Latvia already clean the outside?" He complained as he dressed himself. It was possible that this was one of his ways of toying with Canada. So much abuse, and it hasn't even been a week yet.

Once Canada was dressed he exited the room and after grabbing the cleaning supplies he left the house. As soon as he got outside he hugged himself at the cold air. It was freezing, how was he going to clean the house without getting hypothermia? _W-Well, might as well start._

Canada first started cleaning the door window; it didn't take long for the water to freeze on the window.

_This is ridiculous! How does he expect me to do this? _Canada let go f the wet cloth as soon as he felt his fingers starting to freeze to it. This was impossible, and not to mention embarrassing, but Canada was more focused on the cold than his self esteem. Still Canada tried to continue cleaning, but it only took five more minutes for him to start shivering with no control over it. _I can't stand it out here..._

Immediately, Canada burst into the house not even bothering to grab the cleaning supplies. Warm air, it was bliss.

"Done already?" Russia said.

Canada looked at him to see that he was sitting on the couch in the living room drinking vodka. He also noticed the baltics were not around, they must be sleeping. Canada stared at the vodka bottle a little worried. Is he trying to get drunk again?

"No... It's too cold to clean the house" Canada said answering Russia's question.

"It's always cold, might as well get used to it"

Canada focused on the vodka bottle. Did he intentionally get drunk, does he even know what he does when he's drunk? Russia looked at the vodka bottle noticing Canada was staring at it. He grinned.

"Do you want some?"

"N...No, thank you"

"Why not?"

"I've never tried vodka"

"Ah?" Russia got up from his seat and walked towards Canada. He held the bottle in front of Canada's face, "You will try it then Da?"

"u-uh, no thanks.. s-sir"

"Well, if you won't clean my house then you can drink this whole bottle, it's your choice"

Drink a whole bottle of vodka? How strong was that stuff? Canada really didn't want to get drunk, but anything seemed better than staying outside in the cold... in a maid dress. He took the bottle and cautiously put his mouth on the top. He took a small taste of it.

"EEH!" The taste, it was horrible, to him anyway.

Russia frowned. He took the bottle and grabbed Canada's jaw forcing him to open his mouth and he made him drink more of the horrid vodka. How did Russia take big gulps of this stuff and still keep a straight face? Everyone had different tastes, but Canada was more used to Canadian beer from his own country and the wine from France. Soon he started feeling dizzy, light headed and weird. The vodka was all gone. Russia let go of Canada and took the bottle away from his mouth. Canada hic'd a couple times.

It didn't take long for Canada to get drunk. He giggled a bit and rubbed his eyes.

"How do you feel? Better Da?"

"N-No, I'm feeling great *hic*I- I could do hopscotch for days~"

Russia laughed amused at Canada's condition.

"You're so easy to get drunk, I'm glad I made you my favourite"

"N...No" Canada said as he lazily pointed at Russia, "You made me, your favourite, c-cause I'm gay, alright hun?"

Russia chuckled.

"Y-You know what! You're growing more attractive by the second! Can I have more vadko?"

"Vodka" Russia laughed.

"W-Well, you know what! Fine be that way! If you're going to correct me like that you can just forget about Tuesdays!"

"What does Tuesday have to do with anything?"

"umm..."

Russia smiled childishly enjoying the sight of the drunken Canadian boy. He stepped back a bit and held out his arms. He wanted to see if Canada would do something else funny.

"Come Canada"

Canada's eyes grew and he pouted.

"Waaah! You're so unfair!"

"Do as I say"

"But... you're all the way over there..."

"eheh, Da, a meter is so hard to walk"

"No it's not, I'll show you..."

Canada wobbly took a step almost tripping over already. He took another step; this one was more balanced, but still wobbly. Soon enough, Canada burst into tears. Russia stared at him curiously. He walked over to Canada and lifted his chin. Canada stopped crying and stared at Russia's face.

"What's wrong, Canada? Can't do anything when you're drunk?"

"I-I can do anything..."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, and if I wasn't trapped in this house I could go back to my lonely life just as I am used to"

"...Lonely...?" Russia looked even more curious. He was interested to know more, "Why so lonely, Canada?"

"B...Because, no one notices I exist" Canada started crying once more. The vodka must have been causing his emotions to act out fully.

Russia did not smile at this information, but he was interested. He let go of Canada and pointed upstairs.

"Go to bed Canada"

Canada tried to walk to the stairs but barely moved before he fell forward on the floor.

He didn't get back up after; instead he hugged himself as his knees almost reached his chest. He only lay on the ground crying as if someone had killed his best friend.

Russia found this state he was in pathetic. He was so much more entertaining when he started out in his drunken state. Russia stood near Canada and tapped his back lightly with his boot.

"I'm not going to carry you to bed this time, get up"

Russia then realized something, no sounds, Canada wasn't crying anymore. He was asleep. All he heard was Canada's soft breathing. He groaned and picked up Canada and placed him over his shoulder. He headed for the couch and dropped Canada on his back on the longest couch.

"Awfully strange boy he is" Russia said to himself as he left the room turning off the lights and heading upstairs to his own room.

XXX

Wait till next update.


	7. No mercy

I'm sorry it took so long to update. Things are really slow for me near the Holidays and since Christmas is a pretty big one for us things will be slower. Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Canada woke slowly. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Something didn't feel right, it felt as if he had a hangover. He groaned and rubbed his eye with his palm then sat up, he didn't feel like stretching too much, he just wanted to go back to sleep, but no. That won't happen in this house. He looked down at is clothes. _I need to change... I don't want to go to that conference in this. _He sighed as he crawled off the couch. _What happened anyway? All I remember is that I was cleaning the outside of Russia's house. _He shrugged. _I must have just passed out or something._ He thought as he headed upstairs. Once he entered his bedroom he quickly got dressed into normal Russian clothes. He looked at the bed, no baltics. They must have been somewhere in the house. He went downstairs again and searched for Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, any of the three.

"Hello Canada" Came Russia's voice from behind Canada.

Canada turned around and looked up at the cheery faced Russian. At least he was in a good mood today.

"H-Hello Mr. Russia" Canada said shyly.

Russia began walking around Canada slowly wearing a creepy grin on his face as he stared at him.

"Mhm, I want to ask... did you dream of hopscotch and Tuesdays?"

"Eh? W-What does that have to do with anything, uh, sir?" Canada watched Russia confused to what he was talking about.

"It has to do with what you told me yesterday"

Canada was more curious than ever, he had to know what happened, because apparently he did not pass out.

"W-What did I say? What happened to me?"

Russia stopped where he was and faced Canada.

"You were drunk, that was my fault but you were very amusing"

Canada didn't like the sound of that, he wasn't, well, himself when he was drunk.

"You said something about hopscotch and Tuesdays... and you were very, flattering"

"F-Flattering?"

"Da, You said I was attractive"

Canada's face almost turned red from the blush on his face. Never in his life did he feel so guilty. He would never say that, unless drunk apparently. He desperately hoped he didn't DO anything to go along with that compliment he gave Russia.

"W-What else d-did I s-say?"

"You said you were gay"

Canada's jaw dropped. Why on earth would he say that too? It was horrible. He put his hands on his head looking as if he was going to panic.

Russia stepped towards Canada, he leaned in close to him and took his hands in his own. Canada looked up at Russia afraid of what Russia was doing.

"Were you suggesting something yesterday? ...Canada"

"N-No, I-I was drunk, I didn't know what I was saying, honestly!" Canada said in a shaky panicked voice.

He already had Russia whip him and get him drunk, he didn't want the cold hearted man raping him too.

"What's wrong Canada? Why so scared?" Russia said with a chuckle.

_Why did I have to say those things yesterday? _Canada didn't know what to do, he just froze where he was.

"Excuse me"

"EEP!" Canada jumped forward startled by the voice that came from nowhere and without realizing it he hugged Russia tightly enough to even make Russia gasp.

Awkward silence, Canada soon realized what he was doing and blushed once more. He looked at Lithuania who was the one who surprised Canada, but he did not let go of Russia.

"Canada is very affectionate, Da?"

Canada quickly let go of Russia. He felt embarrassed about what he did, but he tried to ignore the thought.

"Lithuania, are the other two ready?" Russia asked.

"Y-yes sir"

"Good, then go get them and we'll head over to the conference building"

Lithuania nodded and headed to what seemed like the laundry room.

Canada still couldn't help but worry if he did anything last night, he looked at Russia who was already staring at him. Russia only smiled.

"Mr. Russia..."

"Da?"

"...D...Did I... do anything last night?"

"not much, you did start crying"

"Crying?" Canada did not like showing his tears to others, he mostly kept his emotions bottled up inside.

Canada looked down in shame, much more embarrassed than before.

"A-anything else?" He asked with much worry in his voice.

Russia seemed a little curious and confused at what Canada wanted to hear, or didn't want t hear. He folded his arms and stood there, looking as if he was deep in thought. Then, a grin appeared on his face. He looked at Canada with a look that made Canada worry more.

"You're wondering if we did it last night, Da?"

Caught, Canada looked away from Russia uncomfortable about all of this.

"...Y-Yes..."

Russia giggled before patting Canada on the head.

"No, we did not" He said.

Canada smiled a little, proud that he didn't do anything too bad when he was drunk.

"Alright, we're all here" Lithuania said as he walked back in the room with the other two baltics.

"Good, let's go" Russia said before turning to and heading out the door.

It wasn't all that long to get there, this conference was on Russia's territory this time. It was strange that even though wars went on against others countries would still have to attend the conference's, but that's how it worked. Canada couldn't help but feel a little excited about seeing everyone, then again, he was nervous too, excited he might be saved, but nervous they might not be able to save him. They entered the building quietly. It wasn't hard to find the room the conference was being held in, even if you were new. Not only did it have a sign that said 'conference room' but you could also hear America's constant chatting. That man certainly loved to socialize. Russia entered with the baltics and Canada following behind.

"Hello Russia" England said as he looked up from his face palming.

"Hello" Russia said back as he smiled, "I have a new addition to my group" Russia pointed at Canada.

Canada looked down in shame not wanting the others to see his face. _Why did Russia have to do that?_

"Who is he? He looks familiar" America asked.

Canada began to feel the anger grow in him, but he kept it inside as he glared at America. The glaring didn't last long though, as soon as Russia had said 'this is Canada' Canada felt the shame come back.

There was silence in the room as everyone stared. Then, America's eye twitched. He stood up suddenly and slammed his fist down on the table hard almost breaking it.

"WHAT!" He screamed, "How could you!"

Russia laughed, "Easy, I found him before you did"

America clenched his fist, ready to knock the living day lights out of Russia.

"Well I can easily take him off your hands, I'll fight you for him"

"Then that means he'll be under your charge, but I can fight you"

To be honest Canada didn't want to be under America's charge, or anyone's for that matter, but still. Being under either of the superpowers command would be total chaos for him either way. He didn't like this idea one bit. If he were under America's control no one would recognize him as Canada anymore anyway or even bother to, under Russia's control however he was brutally beaten. He didn't know which was worse.

"There will be no fighting during a conference meeting! Besides America you're still recovering from that last war you had with Russia" England said.

"But who knows WHAT he's done to him or planning on doing to him!"

"I'm sorry America, but the rules say if he wins he gets to claim his prize... and he has"

"Yeah... my brother" America looked back at the happy faced Russia who seemed to be enjoying America's misery, "What did you do to him and what are you planning on doing?"

"Not much of your concern, Although, I do plan on teaching him Russian, I believe he's already learned a word perhaps" Russia smirked.

America only narrowed his eyes as he glared at his rival.

Russia turned his head to look at Canada.

"Canada" He said.

Canada looked up at him before remembering the magic words, 'Mr. Russia'.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Russia?"

Already this made America's jaw drop, no one else seemed to be liking this either, Especially not France who looked as if he was going to burst into tears for his poor son's sake.

"How do you say 'yes' in Russian?"

Canada knew that Russia was just trying to get America to snap by using him, but he really didn't have a choice in the matter.

"...Da" Canada said with the proper accent.

Russia patted Canada's head before looking back at the highly pissed off America. He looked as if he was a volcano that was about to blow, he was so angry.

"Please sit down, all of you!" England shouted having had enough of seeing America being tortured by Russia's cruel ways.

"Da, alright" Russia said as he sat in his chair.

The meeting started once everyone was seated. England first spoke going on about politics and environmental problems. Naturally this would bore America, but he was too focused on Russia right now to pay attention to anything else. Everyone took notes on the subject at hand, but America. He just glared at Russia while he held his pencil tightly pressing his thumb against it until it snapped.

"America, stop wasting your pencils" England complained.

"My brother's working for that commie bastard and all you can think of is this conference meeting!" America shouted as he stood from his chair.

"I'm sorry this is hurting you America but it's not the first time this has happened to a country!" England yelled as he also stood.

"But he's with RUSSIA! I'd rather he was with FRANCE than THAT COMMIE!"

Canada looked at Russia to see his reaction, but Russia still smiled as if it were nothing to be hated like this. Still, the baltics didn't seem to like the smile on Russia's face, true it was a creepy smile, but he wasn't showing any signs of hate or sadness. Everything was so confusing to Canada, everything about Russia anyway.

"So, you think he's not safe with me?" Russia said finally joining the argument.

"NO!" America yelled, "I don't think he's safe with you!"

Russia got up from his chair and walked to behind Canada, then placed his hands on Canada's shoulders a little too tightly. Canada new right away Russia had something in mind to piss off America even more, but he couldn't do anything about it, he felt so helpless.

"America, your brother belongs to me now. I do not care if this upsets you"

America's glare turned into a defeated look. This was true, Russia does not care if he hurt someone he was going to keep Canada.

"You didn't hurt him did you? You didn't touch him at all?" America said.

A grin appeared on Russia's face soon after America had said that. He did hurt him, Canada new this and so did the baltics.

"Actually, Da, I did"

"WHAT! YOU BASTARD!"

Russia laughed, "I also got him drunk. He was very attracted to me then" He giggled.

A big blush grew on Canada's face. This wasn't fair, why would Russia do this to him? Canada tried his best to keep his anger inside, but he just wanted to let it out so badly.

"You didn't!" America shouted louder.

"Ah? Didn't what?"

"You didn't rape him did you!"

"This would make you upset?"

"YES! It would! Did you or not!"

"нет, I did not... although" Russia placed a hand on Canada's head then slid his hand down from there to his face then to his neck slowly before leaning down, his face close to Canada's, "It is pretty tempting" Russia said before kissing Canada's neck softly causing Canada to whimper.

America immediately grabbed the cup of pencils and threw them at Russia almost hitting him before Russia dodged as he giggled at America's attempt to hurt him.

Russia straightened himself still wearing that creepy grin.

"I believe this conference is over, Da?"Russia said smiling like a child.

"Uh, y-yes" England answered.

"Good, let us go now"

Russia headed for the door and the baltics followed behind. Canada did not budge. He sat in his chair too shocked to move. _Is he really going to... rape me?_ He could feel his anger fade but his fear rose all too quickly.

"Canada~" Russia called, "Come on, we're leaving now"

Canada looked up at everyone who stared at him with sympathetic faces, then he looked at Russia who was happily waiting for Canada to go with him.

"...Y...Yes... s-sir..." Canada said as he got up from his seat and followed Russia out the door.

_I need mercy._

_XXX_

Wait till next update._  
_


	8. Confusion

Enjoy. ^^

XXX

On his way back home following a little far behind the others, Canada only stared at the snow, lip quivering and his fear rising every step closer to the house. He didn't bother speaking the others, he was too deep in his thoughts to care about anything else at the moment.

Once they reached home, they entered the house and removed their coats, except Russia. The baltics then awaited Russia's orders.

"Lithuania, go cook" Russia said.

"Yes sir" Lithuania said before leaving to the kitchen.

"Latvia, get me that gun" Russia pointed to a high shelf obviously mocking Latvia's height.

"Y-Yes sir" Latvia said almost in tears.

"Estonia... make it look like you're doing something useful"

"Uh, yes sir"

Then Russia turned to Canada smiling like a child. Canada tried his best to remain calm, but almost nothing he thought of helped.

"Canada, lay on the couch" Russia said as he walked over to the couch he was referring to.

Canada gulped quietly before heading to the couch and lying down on it. His heart pounded in his chest faster. _Is he really going to do this to me?_

Canada didn't realize Russia could see the fear on his face so easily.

"Ah? What's wrong?" Russia said as he kneeled beside the couch.

"Y-you s-said you w-wanted to rape m-me" Canada whispered as he gave Russia the injured puppy dog look.

Russia blinked, then giggled almost making it sound like a full laugh.

"Canada, I only said that to make your brother upset... but the funny thing was I got everyone to show me their troubled faces" He smirked.

Just right there, Canada could have slapped Russia across the face, but he didn't. He was too happy to care, knowing that Russia would never take advantage of him. Apparently Russia was just playing with everyone's heads. It was a pretty horrible thing to do, especially at a conference, but this was Russia's way of having fun, and Canada had no say to stop him from doing and saying the things he does and says.

"W-Why did you want me to lay on the couch then?" Canada asked shyly.

"I want to check that scar of yours, the smaller ones should have healed by now, so I won't rip your pants off" Russia answered with a giggle.

"...ok"

Canada didn't understand why he couldn't just check when h was standing up, but he thought it would be better not to ask why, he just did what Russia wanted.

Russia lifted Canada's shirt to find that the scar was almost healed. There was no real expression on his face, he didn't seem to care that much, or did he?

He let go of Canada's shirt and stood up.

"You're fine" He said before walking around the couch and to the kitchen.

Canada nodded, he was going to be alright today. Russia seemed to be in too good of a mood to get drunk. _Everything will be alright_ He thought as he closed his eyes. Canada just wanted to rest a little, after almost getting a heart attack from all that fear he thought it would be good to relax. It was good, that is until he heard Russia say 'Estonia! Get me some vodka!'. Canada's eyes shot open. He sat up immediately then hopped off the couch and ran right to Russia grabbing his coat and looking up at him with the most frightened face he had ever made.

"Don't do it!" He shouted "Please don't drink, you'll get drunk again!"

The baltics stopped what they were doing all at once and stared at Canada as if they wanted to say 'What the heck is wrong with you?'.

Russia's smile quickly changed into a frown.

"Canada, are you trying to tell me what to do?"

"N-no, well, Maybe b-but-"

Russia glared at Canada, this made the baltics back away immediately. Canada looked at the others clueless to what he did wrong, or said wrong in this case. Just then Russia grabbed Canada's shirt collar and lifted him off the ground his glare showing hate as his eyes stared into Canada's. Then, a sound that started out silent grew louder.

"_KolKolKol_" Those were the only words coming out of Russia's mouth.

Though these words should not have been scary at all, coming from Russia, they were terrifying. Perhaps Canada wasn't as safe as he thought. Russia then pushed Canada against a wall, his koling stopped, and he raised his hand ready to smack Canada, and hard from the looks of things.

"I-Ivan don't!"

Russia froze, his eyes grew and his mouth hung open. He lowered his hand as he stared at Canada, clueless.

"How do you know my human name?"

"...Y...your sister, she told me"

Russia's expression changed to more surprised than before.

"...Which one?"

"Ukraine"

"Ah? You're friends with Ukraine?"

"Y-Yes"

Russia let go of Canada gently. He looked puzzled, and deep in thought.

"Have you told anyone else...?" He asked quietly.

Canada never did tell anyone about Russia's human name. Russia never really crossed his mind much unless Ukraine was talking about him. _I certainly hope the baltics knew Russia's human name already..._

He thought as he held his hand close to his heart. What would Russia do to him now that he knew Canada knew his human name? Canada didn't even want to think about it, but it worried him. Today was most definitely not a good day for Canada.

"...N-No..." Canada answered.

Russia turned away from Canada and the baltics, he placed his hands on the counter top, his posture making him look stressed, and angry. Canada feared he was in the worst trouble imaginable.

The baltics went back to what they were dong hoping Russia wouldn't get too mad. However Canada didn't have anything to do to distract him from his fear of Russia at this moment. At the same time he felt as if he wanted to stay for Russia's sake, but why?

Finally, Russia turned around glaring at Canada. Canada gulped as he stood there trembling, secretly praying he'd be ok.

"You will not tell anyone about my human name, Da?"

"Y-Yes sir"

"Uh uh, say, Da. I want to hear you speak more Russian"

Canada tried hard not to get too upset, but Russia was his boss now. It was as if he was trapped in a job he could not quit, but there was a way to get fired and he did not want to take that way out.

"...Da... Mr. Russia..." Canada said keeping eye contact with Russia, but trying not to look too upset.

"...Good"

Canada didn't understand why it took so long for Russia to answer this time, was he really this upset?

Canada didn't budge from his spot. He stared at the floor, as Russia walked by him.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Russia..."

Though Russia didn't really deserve to be treated so kindly, Canada felt he should treat Russia nicer, seeing how he reacts to everything. Russia was a puzzle Canada needed to complete, or so he felt.

"Sorry? For what?" Russia asked as he looked back at Canada.

Canada looked at Russia, turning to face him.

"I'm sorry I called you Ivan..."

Russia didn't answer back. He only stared at Canada, still no change in his expression.

"Say it again"

"P-Pardon? Sir?"

"Say my name again"

"Oh... ok... Ivan"

Russia's eyes narrowed as he turned to face Canada. Did it make him more upset? Why would he want Canada to say his human name then? Canada couldn't quite figure out Russia at this moment, he was strange, why would he drown himself in Vodka? Why is he so cruel? Why would he want Canada to call him Ivan...?

"Mr. Russia, I brought you the vodka you wanted" Estonia said, trying to break the silence.

Russia took the vodka and stared at it as if it was useless. The look on his face made the baltics look a little uneasy. Russia looked back at Canada for only a short while before turning away and heading out the door slamming it shut behind him.

"Oh no..." Lithuania muttered, but the others still heard him fine.

"What is it this time?" Canada asked with much worry in his eyes.

"H-he's angry, when he goes out angry to get drunk, h-he's much more harsh on u-us"

Did Canada just make things worse again? He just couldn't seem to do anything right in this house.

He looked away, his hand on his arm, and sighed feeling the guilt get to him.

"I'm so sorry..." He said.

"No, it's ok Canada. You didn't know" Lithuania placed a hand on Canada's shoulder.

Canada looked at him with a sad expression. He didn't think it was ok, one of them would have to suffer tonight when Russia got back and it was probably going to be Canada since he was Russia's new favourite.

It was confusing how Russia reacted to Canada though. He couldn't get the thought out of his head, first Russia was ready to strike him, but as soon as Canada said his human name he just... he didn't even know how to describe it, but for some reason it stopped him from bringing harm to Canada. Did Russia really want Canada to call him Ivan? Or was that just for that one time? Canada had to figure him out, he didn't understand why he wanted to so much, but he had to.

XXX

Wait till next update.


	9. The start of something

Enjoy. ^^

XXX

The minutes turned to hours as Canada sat on the couch pondering about everything that's happened.

_Russia's cruel... but he drinks, maybe to drown his sorrows? But what could be troubling him?_

Canada lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. He didn't understand why he was so concerned about Russia. He could try to figure out Russia all he wanted, but what good would that do? He felt as if he was wasting his time with this, but, maybe if he got to know Russia a little more, he could bring out the good he knows that exists in him. After all, a true evil man would have just left someone like Canada out on the battle field to die to suffer in pain or perhaps just kill him right there. _Russia saved me from death, I know there's some good in him._ Just then the words Russia said that day he saved him came back.

"_Such a beautiful boy" _Canada blushed. _Why did he say that? _It was a pretty odd thing to say at the time.

_There has to be a reason why he acts the way he does, I have to figure it out._ Canada thought long and hard, maybe it was because of something that happened to him in the past, maybe someone or maybe more than just one person had mistreated him, maybe it was an event of some sort. Whatever Canada thought of he just couldn't quite put the pieces together.

Suddenly, the door swung open. The baltics, who were chatting in the kitchen the whole time, stayed there, trying to hide. Canada immediately sat up, his heart pounding in his chest from the fear of what Russia might do to him this time. The boot steps began as Russia made his way down the hall slowly.

_Be brave, you can do this_ Canada wanted to try and talk to Russia in his drunken state, though that was probably the worst idea he had ever come up with, it was worth a try. Maybe he could get Russia to calm down. Canada got off the couch and slowly approached Russia with caution. He stopped as soon as he spotted the baltics trying to tell him 'no don't do it' making hand signals or whatever it was they were doing. Canada was determined though, he had to get Russia to listen to him, even if he was drunk.

"...Mr. R-Russia?"

Russia stopped where he was. Canada stepped a little closer taking small baby steps at a time.

Russia straightened himself as he turned his head to look at Canada. His eyes were narrowed and his expression was bone chilling, but Canada only stepped closer until he was right in front of him.

Russia's expression did not change as he stared down at Canada.

"Mr. Russia? Are you ok?" Canada asked nervously.

Russia's glare did not fade. He reached in his coat and pulled out the vodka bottle he took with him. He then took a big swig of the vodka, but his expression changed from angry to angrier. What was his problem? _Why is he so mad at me? It seems that ever since I said his human name he's been more than pissed off at me, but..._

"Say my name again, Canada" Russia said before looking away and taking another mouthful of vodka.

_...Then, he says that... if he hates it so much then why does he want me to say it? _

"Ivan..." Canada answered.

Canada just stared confused at the, probably, drunk Russian. He didn't seem to be all that drunk though. Canada took another look at the vodka bottle, before Russia had drunk from it, it was almost full. Canada then realized that Russia didn't drink as much as Lithuania said he should have, or so, how Lithuania made it sound he'd drink. Canada didn't like how Russia would drink all the time, but what could he do about it?

"Ivan... Are you ok?"

"...Da..." Russia's glare faded a little.

Russia was lying for sure, he didn't look ok. He was mad. Canada raised his hand to Russia's head but just as Russia glanced at him he flinched. _I want to find that good in him. Maybe if I'm nice, he'll show me that good side. _Canada gulped a little before placing his hand on Russia's hair. It was like he had just approached a vicious polar bear and petted him. Canada smiled gently at Russia.

"You know, it's not healthy to stay outside in the snow that long, especially when drinking" Canada said shyly, hoping he said the right thing, hoping that Russia wouldn't get too mad at him for saying it.

Russia's fierce stare came back.

"I mean, I just don't want you getting sick"

Just when Canada took his hand off Russia's head Russia snatched his arms making Canada gasp in fear.

"...and why do you care if I get sick?" Russia asked.

"I-I, j-just get worried about you... I worry about everyone..."

"You shouldn't waste your time worrying about everyone, because no one's worrying about you"

"Are you saying this because I'm invisible? Or is this because of a life experience?" Canada said this, but not strictly, no, he remained calm with this.

"...What do you know about me?"

"Only w-what Ukraine's told me"

Russia turned for his body to face Canada's, but his anger didn't cease.

"...and what has she told you?"

"She told me, that you're a good brother and a good person at heart... and I believe her"

Russia's eyes grew a little. His grip on Canada's arm softened, and so did his expression, but he still didn't look too happy.

"Don't lie to me Canada" He said.

"I-I'm not"

"How can I trust you?"

"Just learn to trust me, if not then ask your sister yourself"

"...Why did you touch my hair?" Russia asked completely changing the subject.

"I was, testing a theory and... I was wrong..." Canada said with a shy smile.

Russia raised an eyebrow, he was obviously confused by what Canada meant, so Canada decided to explain.

"Um... I wanted to see if, you'd actually hurt me if I touched you... and you didn't"

"You've touched me before, remember? You hugged me"

"Yes but, I don't think either of us were thinking then" Canada shuffled his feet sheepishly , now that he thought about it, his theory sounded pretty stupid, but he was just curious... right? "W-Well, I'm sorry Ivan..."

Canada tried to pull his arm out of Russia's grasp but Russia's hand tightened around Canada's arm just as he tried to move it.

"Eh?"

"Say it" Russia said.

"Say what?" Canada asked nervously.

"My name"

"D-Do you have some sort of fetish with me saying your name or something?"

Canada showed a bit of rage but tried not to get too angry at Russia, still, what was with Russia and wanting Canada to say his name all the time now? He could easily get one of the baltics to say it all the time instead, maybe it was because Canada was his favourite now, that he wanted his **favourite **to say it.

Russia only chuckled at Canada's response before answering.

"I do not know, do you have a fetish with touching me?" He asked as he smiled.

Canada just stared at Russia with an embarrassed look on his face. No matter how much Canada thought about it, Russia made it sound a little dirty. Canada stuttered a couple times not being able to say anything to that, but he wanted to say something back. He shook his head trying to shake the thought altogether.

"N-No, of course not! I-I was just curious" He said as he looked away, he wanted to change the subject badly, but what could he talk about? "Um... W-Why didn't you get drunk?"

The baltics looked as if they were just about to burst out screaming, but they only gasped before covering each other's mouths. They backed away in the kitchen hiding themselves from sight.

Canada stared at where they once were and blinked confused to what he said wrong this time. His eyes then moved to look at Russia who was glaring at Canada. Suddenly he grabbed Canada's other arm and pushed him against the wall hard. Canada yelped as his head hit the wall.

"O-ow" He whimpered.

Canada looked up at Russia's enraged face. If he could he'd hit himself right now for always getting on Russia's bad side, why did he have a talent for that?

"Why do you keep sticking your nose in my business?" Russia growled.

"I-I don't mean to, honestly! I-I'm just curious!"

"Your curiosity is annoying"

"I'm sorry!"

"...and you didn't say my name like I told you to do"

"Ok! Ivan Ivan IVAN IVAN **IVAN**!"

Russia stared curiously. He looked amazed at Canada, yet a little annoyed at the same time.

"No one has ever talked back to me before" Russia said.

The realization then hit Canada, he really did talk back to Russia. Another big mistake. Russia's grasp on Canada's arms tightened harder making Canada whimper in pain. Canada could feel his arms getting more sore every second. The pain was almost unbearable. He just wanted to get away from Russia and let his arms heal already, but he couldn't escape from Russia, no matter how hard he tried.

"Poor Canada can't even handle this" Russia teased, "Your brother wouldn't be struggling like this, he'd fight back"

Suddenly without thinking, Canada spat on Russia's face as he shot him a glare of his own.

Russia's eyes widened to their fullest staring at the angry Canadian. If there was one thing Canada hated most in this entire world, it was being compared with his brother, he knew he was nothing like his brother yet people would think he's him anyway.

Then, he snapped out of his anger noticing what he did.

"I-I'm so sorry Mr. Russia! I... I w-wasn't thinking! Really!"

Russia took his hand off of one of Canada's arms and wiped away the spit.

"You spat on me" Russia said with no expression.

"P-Please forgive me Mr. Russia, I-I don't know what I was thinking, I-I just got mad, I'm really sorry"

Russia laughed. _What? He's laughing?_ Canada stared confused to why Russia was laughing, did Canada say something funny?

"You'll apologize until the world ends if you have to, Da?"

"B-But, I really am sorry..."

Russia flicked the spit on his hand away before grabbing Canada's arm again. He smirked.

"-and you dare to stand up against me, here I did not think you had a backbone" Russia added, "But I'm still mad at you, you're going to have to pay the price for making me mad"

Canada gulped trying to sink to the floor and away from Russia, but Russia would not let him.

Russia let go of one arm but kept hold of the other as he headed for the torture room, dragging Canada with him. Canada tried to pull away but he could not escape. _No, not again!_

Russia wasn't even drunk this time, or was he? Either way he was going to torture Canada once again.

Russia entered the room and shut the door behind him and Canada. He threw Canada on the floor just like last time and grabbed the same whip. Canada was ready though this time, He immediately jumped up and ran to the door trying to escape, but just then he felt the whip wrap around his leg causing him to trip and fall on the floor. Russia grabbed another whip and raised it high ready to strike.

Canada glanced behind him to see Russia ready to give him another world of pain.

"Ivan!"

"That won't work again" Russia said.

Canada covered his head with his hands awaiting the strike. Russia flung the whip, but barely... Something had stopped him from hurting Canada. He told himself to do it, but his body would not let him, it refused to cooperate with him.

Russia glared, he threw the whip on the ground then walked toward Canada. He un-wrapped the other whip rope from Canada's leg, then stood up and kicked Canada lightly. Canada looked up at Russia.

Russia looked more than angry, but he did not say anything. He simply walked out of the room.

Canada stood up. _He didn't hurt me, why won't he hurt me when I say his name?_

Was Canada really getting through to him? But what did he do to make Russia spare him?

XXX

Wait till next update.


	10. Learning to trust

woo, finally~ I got the next chapter done. I have said it before and i'll say it again, it's near the Holidays and you'll have to expect late updates from me. =A=

Anyway, Enjoy. ^^

XXX

He could not understand it, Russia actually showed mercy, but by the look Russia gave him he didn't seem too pleased with it. The kindness Canada was giving to Russia, it was now affecting Russia, Canada knew this. He left the torture room and headed for the kitchen to find the baltics gossiping.

"Poor Canada, what do you think Mr. Russia did to him this time?" Lithuania said.

"Well, let's stop talking about it and find out" Estonia replied soon after.

All three of the baltics were just about to leave the kitchen when they spotted Canada at the doorway, watching them.

"Oh! C-Canada! Y-You're alright!" Latvia squealed with joy as he immediately hugged Canada, tears running down his face.

"Canada, I just have to say this..." Lithuania sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair, "Why didn't you listen when we tried to warn you NOT to approach Mr. Russia?"

"I... well, I felt I needed to talk to him, I believe there's some good in him"

The baltics looked at each other a little worried. They didn't seem to agree with Canada that Russia could be a good guy.

"Canada... Mr. Russia is too, well... desensitized, to be kind" Estonia's face saddened, probably for Canada's sake.

"He doesn't care if he hurts us... he doesn't even care if he kills us. There's no way to save him..." Lithuania's face was equally as depressed, but he looked away, hand on arm.

The baltics did not believe Russia had some good in him, they probably doubted a speck of kindness even existed in his heart. But Canada believed there was, he saw it for himself. When Russia could of killed him he didn't, when Russia could have whipped him, he didn't. Something inside Russia had stopped him and Canada was going to drag that light in his darkened heart out in the open, one way, or another.

"Where is he now?" Canada asked.

"Y-You're not really planning on going to see him are you!" Latvia cried as he let go of Canada.

"Yes, I don't think he's had any supper yet, I'll take some food to him"

"No! Lithuania shouted, "Why do you keep on getting yourself into trouble like this, haven't you been traumatized enough?"

"I know this is a very painful road I'm taking, but I'm going to take it, even if I die trying"

"But why?"

"Eh?"

"Why would you risk your life to help out Mr. Russia?"

Lithuania was right, why would Canada risk his own life just too simply try and bring out the kindness he saw in Russia? It was suicide to do this. Russia would probably end up killing Canada if he kept butting in to Russia's personal life. But that's not what Canada was trying to do, he wasn't trying to butt into anyone's personal life, he just wanted to help. Canada just gave Lithuania the puppy dog look.

"Please, just let me do this"

Lithuania did seem to want to protect Canada, but he just couldn't talk Canada out of this no matter how hard he tried. He groaned before he passed a bowl of soup to Canada.

"He's in his room..." Lithuania said quietly.

Canada smiled as he took the bowl from Lithuania.

He left saying 'thank you', but none of the baltics answered, they only responded with worried expressions. Canada headed upstairs to Russia's room_. _Canada knew Russia was probably under a lot of stress, he didn't want to annoy him anymore, but just giving him his supper wouldn't be too bad. He opened the door to Russia's room to find him sitting on his bed face in hands. Canada didn't think he heard the door creak open.

Canada walked in the room, he looked around for a place to put the soup but he could only find Russia's desk, so he placed the bowl there. Canada was about to leave, but he couldn't. Russia looked so frustrated; he just had to say something to him. Canada gently placed his hand on Russia's shoulder. Russia didn't even flinch. Neither of them did or said a thing. The room was too quiet for comfort.

"Um"

"-Leave..." Russia interrupted.

Canada pulled his hand away soon after Russia spoke. Russia's voice was filled with irritation, perhaps this was just a phase he was going through due to the whole 'bringing out Russia's good side' thing.

Even so, Canada couldn't help but feel a little sympathy for him.

"ok..." Canada said silently.

He turned away from Russia and left the room closing the door behind him.

Canada did not leave though; he stayed outside the room, leaning against the door, hugging himself.

He thought to himself, knowing what the baltics meant. _Desensitized... It must be because Russia hasn't been treated fairly. _The words Russia had told Canada before lingered in his thoughts, _"You shouldn't waste your time worrying about everyone, because no one's worrying about you"_

_...Ivan, He's hurting, I know why he does what he does now._ Canada straightened himself. _If I'm right,_ _Ivan's like a child, one that has been mistreated. To cure that, I need to gain his trust by showing him that I'm on his side, but at the same time I must stand my ground. _

Canada knew this would not be an easy thing to do. To try to gain the trust of Russia would be like going skydiving with an untested parachute, and Russia was the ground.

"Canada!" Lithuania called as he stood outside the kitchen, looking up the stairs.

"Eh? Y-Yes?"

"Will you please help me with the dishes?"

"Of course"

Canada headed downstairs and entered the kitchen. Latvia and Estonia were nowhere in sight.

"Grab a cloth and start drying" Lithuania said.

"Ok"

Canada did as he was told. The two didn't talk for a while after that. It was easy for Canada to see that Lithuania was a little disappointed in Canada, but at the same time he was relived he was alright. Canada smiled as he dried the dishes, knowing this.

"Lithuania?" He said.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for your concern, I know I'm stubborn, but thank you for putting up with me"

"Oh, Canada... I just worry about you a lot, Just like I worry about Estonia and Latvia"

"You all look out for each other, eh?"

"Yes, to make sure Mr. Russia doesn't hurt them too much, though, we're not that close really..."

Canada stopped drying, he put the dish down and stared at it with no expression on his face. _Lithuania's been here longer than I have... yet, he hasn't seen what I have..._

"...Lithuania..." Canada said with much doubt in his voice.

"Yes?"

Canada looked up at Lithuania. He had to tell Lithuania, if no one else, what he thought Russia was going through.

"I think I figured Russia out"

"Huh? Really?"

"Yes... You see, Russia only hurts people because he is afraid of being hurt himself"

"...I...I don't understand"

"He's putting up a barrier to protect himself from getting hurt again, and that barrier is hate"

Lithuania stopped what he was doing and looked at Canada, concern in his eyes.

"Canada, I don't know if that's true or not, but that's just a theory. I'm sorry, but I can't trust a simple theory"

Canada's heart felt as if it had sunk a little, if Lithuania wasn't on his side, then there's no chance the other two would be either. Canada was alone in this. He sighed, then went back to drying.

Perhaps, Russia did have some good in him, perhaps not. Either way it was hard for Canada not to believe he did, he had seen it, he knew. Once the dishes were done, Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia and Canada headed for bed. Canada dressed into his pj's, crawled into bed and tucked himself in. _I won't give up on you Russia..._

:::

The door slammed shut, Canada's eyes shot open soon after. It was very faint due to the fact he was sleeping upstairs this time, but he heard the footsteps again. Canada immediately crawled out of bed and walked to the door to his room. Suddenly he heard the slam of the door at the end of the hallway, just like the night he was first brought here. Canada's curiosity most times got the better of him; he just wanted to see what Russia was doing. He snuck downstairs as quiet as possible, the floor made a few creaks, but none that he thought Russia could hear. He was halfway down the hall, watching the door to see if it would open. Just then the floor creaked noisily making an echo through the entire downstairs. Canada froze as he saw Russia's shadow move from where it was before. He greatly hoped that Russia did not hear him sneaking around, but Russia did not open the door. Canada sighed quietly in relief. He approached the room once more, quietly. Once there, he opened the door as quietly as he possibly could. He peeked in the room to find there were two giant bags on the floor, but there was no Russia. He opened the door a little more, still no Russia. _Where is he? _Canada wondered as he entered the room, cautiously. He walked towards the two bags, _What are in these? _Canada reached out his hands to the bags. He untied the first one and opened, but only to find there were sunflowers in it. Neatly placed sunflowers. _Russia probably carried these in as gently as possible, but why would he carry them in bags?_

Canada decided it would be best not to take any sunflowers, he didn't want Russia to worry. He knew Russia's favourite flower was the sunflower. Canada smiled, this is what he's been hiding, he really does have a soft spot.

"What are you doing here?" Came Russia's voice from behind him.

Canada quickly spun around to see Russia there staring at him, not exactly angry, but still upset.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry sir I- EH!"

Canada took a step back but tripped as soon as he did landing in the direction of the flowers. Russia's eyes grew, he immediately grabbed Canada's arm and pulled him back up and harmlessly into a hug. Canada unconsciously wrapped his arms around him as he was pulled close to Russia.

"Careful!" Russia shouted, "you could have crushed the sunflowers"

"I-I'm sorry"

It didn't take long for Canada to realize what position he was in, but he didn't feel like he wanted to let go. He hugged a little tighter he felt Russia's warm coat, it even if it wasn't all that warm, it felt warm to him. Canada felt so comfortable there, and for some reason, he felt safe, and happy. He didn't care to question himself on this, but just to enjoy it.

He then felt Russia's hand on his head stroking his hair.

"Does Canada like touching me?"

Canada immediately snapped out of the trance he was in and pulled away looking a little more than embarrassed.

"I-I, n-no! I mean, I-I was just-"

"It's ok, I don't mind getting hugs" Russia smiled.

Was he in a better mood than earlier, it was the sunflowers, it had to be.

"You don't?"

"нет, My sisters hug me all the time they come to see me... Nobody else ever has"

He admitted that nobody had hugged him. Was this a sign that Russia was opening up to Canada? Whatever it meant, it made Canada smile a little.

"um, I should get back to bed then"

Just as Canada tried to walk around Russia, Russia stepped in his way, stopping him from leaving. Canada looked up at the now smiling Russia, a little worry in Canada's eyes.

"U-um, I-I can't go to b-bed if you won't l-let me, Ivan" He said nervously, hoping Russia wasn't mad at him again, though he probably was seeing as Canada had snuck into the torture room.

"You love to stick your nose into my business little Canada" Russia said as he stepped towards Canada, staring down at him with a menacing grin.

'I-I'm sorry, I was c-curious" Canada said as he stepped back and away from Russia.

Suddenly Russia snatched Canada's arm keeping him in one place.

"I-I'm sorry Ivan! M-My curiosity, i-it just takes over sometimes!" Canada yelped.

"нет, You almost stepped on the sunflowers again"

"O...Oh..."

"I should punish you, but I won't, right now I want you to answer me this"

"Yes?"

"...What is your name?"

Canada felt a little downhearted, how could Russia already forget who he was. Canada tried to hold in his anger, but he wanted to let it out so badly.

"I'm Canada! You know!"

"Ah?" Russia stared curiously, then he giggled before patting Canada's head

"нет, I mean what's your human name?"

Canada felt ashamed now, he had raised his voice to Russia when he didn't deserve it. He held his head down in shame and poked his fingers together, but still, he shouldn't tell his human name to Russia, or anybody but those he trusts.

"I'm waiting"

It was clear that Russia was getting impatient, did Canada have a choice, Russia would probably end up injuring him in some way. Canada mumbled a little, knowing Russia didn't hear.

"What?" Russia asked.

Canada looked up at Russia and finally pushed away his worry.

"Matthew..." He whispered.

"Mat...vey?"

"U-uh... yes"

"...Well then, Matvey" Russia said, "Were you wondering why I went out to get sunflowers?"

Canada was curious to know why, and Russia didn't seem like he was in bad mood at all, so he thought it would safe to say yes.

"Y-Yes"

"Mhm..." Russia walked around Canada, and behind him. He placed a hand on Canada's shoulder as he spoke.

"Do you see any sunflowers around my home?"

"N-No, I don't"

"That's why I go out, and buy sunflowers, but, what I would really like is to be in a sunflower felid... and as you can tell by the weather here..."

"There won't be any sunflower fields..." Canada finished, he felt a little sorry for Russia, nothing seemed to go his way, not exactly the way he wanted it, Canada could relate to that.

"...Da, and as you know these flowers die too quickly"

Russia tightened his grip on Canada's shoulder, but not enough to hurt him.

"You will not tell anyone else this, Da?"

"Ye- I-I mean, Da..."

"Good, now, go to bed"

Canada nodded and did as he was told and headed back upstairs to his bedroom, but he smiled on his way up. _I really do believe Russia's starting to trust me, I hope so. _

_XXX_

Oh and my birthdy's coming soon, I'm so excited, yet, I'm not. XD Anyway, wait till next update._  
_


	11. Let me heal you

OK! For one thing, I am really sorry for the heck of a long wait, eh. I told you Christmas took a lot of my time didn't I? |D Also I've had a bit of a writers block so I only hope this chapter turned out well. Secondly Now you know I'm not dead so don't worry about that. ^^0 Thirdly... Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Canada, already awake, rested in bed wanting to sleep in. Of course, he knew if he didn't get out of bed Lithuania or someone else would drag him out of bed instead. The room was a little colder than usual. Canada imagined someone had left a window open or something. He turned on his side to face the far wall. He was right, someone had left the window open. Canada groaned before rubbing his eyes. Soon enough, he lazily crawled out of bed and closed the window. Like some mornings, he yawned and stretched and was then ready to work. He headed downstairs, no expression, just making his way into the kitchen. Just then, before he could enter the kitchen, he heard a loud rough cough. He turned and looked in the living room to find Russia leaning against the wall, coughing once more before noticing Canada was there.

"Ah, good" He said in a weak tone, "You're awake, you can clean the kitchen after breakfast..."

Now Canada knew what Russia wanted him to do, but he was unsure if he should listen this time. Something was telling Canada to take care of Russia first.

"Mr. Russia" Canada said in his usual soft voice, "You're sick, I-I think you should lay down"

Russia glared at Canada, but weakly. Apparently getting sick was something that didn't bother Russia too much, but he didn't look well, nor did he sound well to begin with.

"Are you trying to tell me what to do, Matvey?" Russia tried to raise his voice, but it was too weak to be heard properly, it was a little quieter than Canada's voice.

Canada shook his head.

"N-No, I'm just saying, that it's probably better if you-"

"I won't lie down. I have a conference to go to..." Russia said before coughing again.

_He seemed fine yesterday, why is he sick now? _

"T...Then, I'll walk with you to the conference"

"нет, You will stay here and clean"

"нет, I should come with you"

Canada thought that maybe if he spoke more Russian it would get Russia to agree with him, but Russia's eyes only narrowed. He walked over to Canada keeping the glare on his face as he stared down at him. As frightening as his anger was, Canada knew this was just a scare tactic from Russia to get his way.

"Do you think I am too weak to make it to the meeting?" He scowled.

"N-No, I-I mean... well, sort of..."

If it really was just a scare tactic, it was working. Canada felt a trickle of sweat run down his face. The way Russia was looking at him now made him want to die a merciful death right there.

"I-I... j-just, want to h-help..." Canada whispered.

He hoped Russia could hear him, but at the same time he was hoping Russia wouldn't strike him. It was hard for possibly anyone to gather their courage to talk to Russia let alone try to get him to do something. The man was stubborn. Still, Canada pushed the thought of shutting up to the back of his head once again. He was prepared to be just as stubborn.

"I-I..." Not a very good start, but he tried again, "I think y-you should at least let me go with you, I'm just w-worried that you'll die before you even get to the meeting"

No answer, Russia only still gave him that same look.

"...W-Well, what i-if you collapse out there, o-or-"

"It's just a really bad flu" Russia interrupted, "I'll be fine"

Russia coughed again but this time it sounded a little worse than before. This conversation wasn't going anywhere as far as Canada knew. He had to get Russia to agree to take him with him. But how? How can a someone under Russia's control tell him what to do without getting whipped, beaten, shot or worse, killed. Canada stepped closer to the coughing Russian, then placed a hand gently on his shoulder. Russia took his time to breath before looking at Canada. Both of them waited for the other to do something. Canada decided to speak first.

"Please, you helped me, now it's my turn to help you"

Russia didn't seem too thrilled about this idea. His mouth opened, he was just about to say something, something to reject the idea, but he stopped himself.

"Fine" He mumbled.

Canada's eyes grew a bit, surprised that Russia gave in like that so easily. Not only that, but Russia didn't show any more signs of anger toward Canada.

"T-Thank you" Canada smiled.

"..."

Russia didn't speak, he just led the way to the building the conference was to be held at. Canada followed beside him. Both were quiet. Seconds passed and still neither of them spoke. Canada's eyes would peek up to look at Russia, just to make sure how he was doing every once in a while, and Russia would cough harder every thirty seconds or so, but that was basically it.

"S...so, how do you feel?" Canada finally asked.

"...I'm ok..."

"That's good..."

Back to the awkward silence. ..._If only I was more talkative, I might actually be able to say something to him when I want to... _Canada tried to think of something to say, something that might get Russia to trust him more. He knew Russia was already opening up to him, but he felt that wasn't enough. But why?

"Matvey..."

"Ye- I-I mean, Da?"

"Why do you insist on caring about me...?"

Russia's words were filled with worry and hope. To Canada, it sounded as if Russia wanted to hear 'because I'm your friend' or something along those lines. Canada felt he could relate, all Russia probably wants is a friend, a true friend... just like Canada. _We're both lonely people... countries or not, our hearts can break too... I don't know exactly what he's going through, but I have a pretty good idea of what._

"Because, I told you, I care about everyone... whether they know I'm here or not"

"...How much do you care about me?"

"Eh?"

This question was a little strange for him to ask. How much **did** Canada care about Russia? No answer that Canada could think of seemed good enough, 'lots, a little, average' even 'tons' didn't sound good enough in his head. Why not? How much did he really care for Russia?

Finally they had reached the conference building. This gave Canada the chance to change the subject.

"Oh, we're here" He said as he headed inside, Russia following behind.

"Canada..." Russia said.

"Da?"

"Remember, you can call me by my real name at home, but not outside it"

"Ok"

The two walked down the hall and entered the room the meeting was being held in. Of course, America gave Russia an unpleasant welcoming. He immediately threw a water balloon at his face.

"Agh!" Russia wiped the water off his face, then looked at himself, his clothes were now soaked, it was bad enough he was sick, now he was probably mad too.

"Strike!" America laughed.

"You git! You don't bring water balloons to a conference meeting!" England complained.

"The jerk deserved it"

Russia glared and began to Kol making the baltics back away in fear. Canada knew he had to calm Russia down, if not, then he might end up killing someone, most likely America. Canada grabbed Russia's coat sleeve trying to give an indication that he didn't want Russia to get mad and that hopefully Russia would listen to his silent hint. Russia looked at Canada menacingly. It seemed as if he was still angry for that moment, but thankfully, he got the hint. He calmed, but he then turned away from Canada and coughed into his arm. The coughing seemed to be getting worse every time and once he goes outside it will probably be worse than before now that he's wet.

"Huh? Russia's sick?" America asked.

"Yes" Canada answered, sad faced. He went to Russia's side again and placed a hand on his back as he coughed, "Don't forget to breathe Mr. Russia"

Canada was too busy worrying about Russia, that he did not notice the confused faces that gawked at him. Though he did show fear to Russia when he was mad, Canada was not afraid of him in other situations. Right now, he just wanted to help Russia, and this is what perplexed everyone. If Russia was sick, the only thing anyone else would do is let him stay that way and hope he'd die of that sickness. For some reason though, Canada felt he couldn't just stand there and watch. He wanted to help him.

"England?" Canada said as he looked up at England, who was still a little baffled until his name was called.

"U-uh, yes?"

"Do you have cough medicine here? Anywhere?"

"I don't need it" Russia said angrily.

"Please Mr. Russia, it will help you get better"

"нет! I said I don't need it!" Russia growled as he straightened himself and slapped Canada's hand away.

"Russia, why do you have to be so stubborn all the time!"

The room fell silent. Russia only glared at Canada, until he stepped close enough to him he grabbed his shirt collar and leaned his face almost too close to his. America looked ready to kill Russia if he had to, watching him just in case he hurt his brother.

"Answer my question first, why do you care so much about me that you'd try and nag me to do something that will keep me from harm and don't say it's because you care about everyone, because you have never nagged anyone else as far as I've seen"

"U...uh..."

Canada didn't know what to say, it was true though. He never did really try to get anyone else to do anything, but Russia... All he wanted was for Russia to be safe.

"I... don't know..."

"You don't know, then why do you do it?"

"I-I just feel I should help you when you need it"

"I do not need your or anybody else's help, I can take care of myself"

"Not taking medicine when you have a really bad flu is not taking care of yourself... sir"

Russia's fists tightened on Canada's shirt. His glare turned fierce as he lifted Canada almost off his feet, leaving him somewhat on his toes, but Canada only returned Russia's glare with a sympathetic expression. He showed no signs of anger, but only a little of fear.

"Is it so bad that someone cares about you, Mr. Russia?"

Russia was silent for a moment. His anger faded a little, but not too much. His eyelids lowered as he looked away from Canada and lowered him on the ground again, but he did not let go of Canada.

"...You want to care about me, fine. That is, if you're ready to make enemies. You know as well as anyone else does that no one likes me"

Confessions, this was telling Canada that Russia trusted him, especially enough to say it in front of everyone else, though he did not seem to want to admit it. He did. Canada knew this was probably hard for Russia to admit, that he was all alone. Though everyone else knew this, it had to be Russia that said it.

"But it doesn't have to be like that"

"I will not let you be my friend, if that is what you want. You'll only get hurt" Russia glowered.

"I've already been hurt emotionally and physically, I think I can handle more pain"

For Canada, it was a little difficult to stay calm around Russia. All he wanted to do was just shout as loud as he could telling him to just give him a chance, just one friend wouldn't hurt him, but Russia didn't want that because, he didn't want to be hurt. That was Canada's theory anyway.

"Do you really want more pain? Just for my sake?" Russia yelled at the top of his lungs, but suddenly he let go of Canada, turned away once more and started coughing again. He held his hand to his mouth in a quick reaction, bent over a let out the worst cough Canada had ever heard.

The worry in Canada's heart grew. He waited until Russia was catching his breath, then walked in front of him and placed his hands on Russia's face lifting it so he could see his face better. Russia didn't look very good at all. _If he doesn't get help, his sickness could get even worse, and probably to the point where... no I won't let that happen._ Canada looked over at England with much worry on his face and in his heart. England nodded and went to the other room, came out with a bottle of cough syrup and a spoon and handed it to Canada.

_This time, no hesitations, no fear, just do it. Even if I have to shove the medicine down his throat I will. _

Then, Russia giggled a little, but weakly.

"Eh?" Canada stared confused.

"It's just a bad flu, Canada. Yet you worry as if I'm dying..."

"But you could, we walked through the snow and you got hit by a water balloon which will make you more sick if you go out again and you already sound bad enough"

"Yeah" America said, "and I've got more balloons where that one came from"

England gave America a weird look.

"Where the he** are you keeping those bloody balloons?"

"Someplace magical~" America joked.

Canada shook his head then looked back at Russia. He took the cap off, poured some medicine into the spoon and... tried to give it to Russia. Russia tucked his lips in his mouth and glared like a stubborn child.

"Seriously?" Canada complained.

France was giggling in the background obviously finding this very amusing. Canada himself found it a little funny as well, but he only smiled.

"Russia"

Russia un-tucked his lips.

"Da?"

"Please, let me heal you"

Russia's eyes looked away, he grumbled then looked back at Canada.

"...Ah" He said as he opened his mouth still not too thrilled about it.

Canada smiled a little bigger, then gave Russia the medicine he needed. Russia gagged soon after he swallowed the medicine, but it didn't last too long.

Canada was just happy knowing that Russia would be alright now, or, so he hoped.

"Good, now let's get this conference underway" England said.

XXX

This is probably the longest chapter here. Eight pages, Oh boy... Anyway, wait till next update.


	12. Repay

Geh! Finally, eh? I'm sorry, stuff has been happening here and I'm a bit more busier than usual but I'm really trying to keep these updated asap. DX Anyway enjoy. ^^

XXX

Everyone was now at their seat's awaiting for England to speak first, that's how the meeting usually started. While waiting Canada took his time to actually examine the room, for once. He never found a reason to really look around until now, since, his opinion wouldn't matter now anyway if he tried to join the conference. Canada looked around, flags of every country hung on the wall, and so did the various paintings from almost every country. He spotted a variety of aged guns hanging on the wall across from him, this made him wonder. Usually if there's a set on one side there's a set on the other. He turned slightly in his seat to see if there was anything hanging above him at all. There was... daggers, and they seemed ancient, but still very sharp, one from each country too. Canada could only think about how unfortunate he was to be sitting under them, still, they had never fallen before so he didn't worry too much. The only thing left to look at was the floor, the plants and the big table everyone but the baltics and Canada sat at. The conference had started. It was the usual political stuff and various other things. Naturally, America butted in and interrupted everyone going on about Hamburgers and pop, or, soda as he called it and other unhealthy foods. Then, as usual, England snapped at him making France laughed at England's failed attempt to calm the hyper American. Germany placed his face in his hand and groaned, irritated at the immature behaviour the western countries showed. For some reason Italy joined the rant, only he went on about pasta and cute girls. America decided to join Italy's random conversation and brag about his food and the women he's been with. France decided to put the two subjects together and talk about erotic cakes, which didn't impress England all that much, but Canada could easily see the blush grow on his face as France went on. China was just as un-amused as Germany, only he tried to get America and England to calm down, but England soon started a fist fight with France at an attempt to get the French man to shut up. Japan was rather quiet but he didn't look too impressed either. Everything was normal here accept for Russia's coughing. Just as usual the meeting got out of hand, again. Canada smiled anyway, but nervously. He didn't want anyone to get hurt too badly; he hoped no wars would start, every time this happened. He did regret all those times he didn't speak up though, especially when everyone else was like this. He was always so quiet, but only because he was either too shy to speak up or he waited too long for everyone to stop talking first. He looked over at the baltics who just sat there as quiet as Canada was. Canada felt a little awkward, as he reminded himself he was Russia's prisoner... slave... whatever he was to Russia. He could only think about the good times when he was his own country. He could make up his own rules, do what **he** wanted, not what anyone else wanted. Being under someone else's control would not help him become noticeable at all. He sighed, _How can I become my own country again? _Canada pondered on the subject for a while. He had to find a way to get out of this mess, but how? He wanted to rely on England before to help him, but just thinking about it now, he knew now that's not what he wanted. He shouldn't have to rely on anyone, sure some help here and there was fine, but not for this. _Maybe I can... no that won't work... hmmm..._

"China~"

Canada's train of thought was cut off by Russia's voice. He glanced up to see Russia talking to China, smiling at him in that childish manner.

"You will become one with Russia, Da~?"

Canada felt his heart sink. He couldn't understand why though. He tried to ignore the feeling, after all, Russia did this all the time before to China, why should it matter now?

"No Aru! Get away from me!" China shouted before scooting away from Russia.

Russia only giggled. His smile changed but it was still a smile. Though, this one was the one that the baltics seemed to fear, the creepy smile. Canada figured that that smile meant Russia was upset without completely showing it. Russia continued to bug China and basically, harass him, as Canada watched in disappointment. _Why does he harass China like this every time he sees him? _Canada wondered_, _Though Canada did not like what he saw, he remained silent. That's all he's ever done, was remain silent. He had a talent for it, so much that he was sometimes afraid to speak, but he wanted to be noticed too.

"Aiyaaah! Get away from me aru I don't want you to cough on me!" China screamed as he pushed Russia away.

"But I'm better now" Russia said playfully.

"No you're not aru!"

Canada was too busy focused on the little fight between Russia and China that he didn't notice that America had pulled out his gun and began firing wildly in the air like a crazy cowboy as he laughed immensely obviously trying to be the loudest in the room, typical American attitude. England ducked in time to dodge a bullet. Italy screamed before hiding under the table while everyone else was just plain irritated. The baltics got up from their seats, Latvia dashed to the table and crawled under it to hide with Italy, Estonia and Lithuania tried to calm America down, the man was too hyper.

"You git! Put that bloody gun away before you blow someone's brains out!" England yelled.

"Mon dieu! Cease your firing America!" France whined.

"P-Please Mr. America! It's not safe!" Lithuania begged.

America didn't seem to hear England or anybody else through the sound of the gunfire. He continued shooting at anything and everything. Suddenly a 'clank' came from above Canada. He glanced up and sure enough a bullet hit the rack that held the daggers. They all came down swiftly toward Canada. Canada's eyes grew to their fullest, he wanted to run, he should have run, but he froze too shocked too move. Just then he was suddenly tackled and covered by something big, no... someone, Russia. Russia had tackled Canada to the ground and covered him with his coat as he lay on top of him. All Canada could hear was the sound of the daggers falling on top to the ground and sometimes on top of Russia, they couldn't touch Canada.

The sound of clattering metal came to an end, in fact, so did the gun fire, the shouting, everything. Russia lifted his body off of Canada's. He stared at Canada, no expression.

"Mr. Russia..." Canada whispered, he began to tremble, which was most likely caused by the shock from this whole event, "W-Why did you do that?"

Russia said nothing, but as soon as he sat up he quickly grabbed his waist. His waist, it was bleeding, one of the daggers had cut him. Canada looked around to see which one had blood on it. He found it, ironically, it was Russia's own dagger that had injured him. Thankfully though, there wasn't that much blood which meant that he wasn't too badly injured. Canada crawled back and sat himself up. He stared worryingly at Russia's wound. _Why did Russia risk his own life just to protect me?_ Canada couldn't help but feel guilty, if he had only moved when the daggers fell instead of freeze, Russia would be ok.

"Mr. R-Russia... I-I'm s-sorry"

Russia tried to ignore the wound now, in this case it didn't hurt him as badly as Canada had thought, but Canada could not ignore the guilt that grew inside him.

Russia coughed once again, but only a little this time. Apparently the medicine was working for him, that was good, but Canada had other things to worry about this time. He reached for Russia's cut open coat to try and look at his wound better, but before he could touch it Russia grabbed his hand. Canada's eyes grew a bit as he looked up at him. Russia's glare was a little frightening, but Canada couldn't just leave him in pain.

"Please, let me do this, Russia"

"нет, I do not need your help"

"Please, you've helped me-"

"-and you've already returned the favour by shoving disgusting medicine down my throat... and you didn't say **mister** before you said my name"

"...u-um... I'm sorry"

Russia slowly got to his feet and Canada stood soon after.

"Once we get back, you will be punished" Russia said as he walked away and back to his seat.

"W-What? But why? Just because I didn't say mister?"

"нет!" Russia shouted causing Canada to freeze where he was, "You have been nothing but trouble for me ever since I found you"

"T-Then why don't you let me go?"

"Because, that is what you want, and that's not a punishment for you"

Suddenly, before Canada could say anything else America stepped in between the two.

"Wooah, ok. Maybe I should just say a few words in this situation"

"Mind your own business America" Russia growled.

"No, for one thing. You two seem to fight like a married couple in a dysfunctional family, for another, and for the third thing, seriously Russia, Canada's been nothing but nice to you from what I've seen and you still act like a bitch!"

Everyone stood there, stunned and amazed that America would actually say something somewhat wise for once. Russia looked over at Canada who was staring back at him. Canada was glad that America stepped in like this. He turned his attention to his brother, who was pouting at Russia, and smiled. He couldn't thank him enough, he could only think of one way to thank him at this moment.

"So, I think you should just-"America immediately stopped ranting as soon as Canada wrapped his arms around him.

America looked at his brother with surprised eyes that soon turned sympathetic. He wrapped his arms around Canada, hugging him back. Little did Canada know though, was that Russia was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes.

"I'm still bleeding" Russia said, trying to break up the moment between the brothers.

"Eh? O-Oh, I'm sorry Ru- I-I mean, Mr. Russia" Canada replied as he let go of his brother and stood next to Russia, "um... may I heal your wound now?"

Russia was silent; he then looked away and coughed into his arm. Canada put his hand on Russia's back and rubbed it in a motherly fashion. He knew Russia didn't like him too much. That was to be expected anyway. Still, Canada just smiled softly at Russia as he waited for an answer from him.

"Go ahead..." Russia finally answered.

This brought much joy to Canada, though, he tried hard not to show his joy as it might make Russia a little more upset than he was already.

After Canada looked at Russia's wound he found it really wasn't all that bad, then he looked to France.

"Papa, can you please get me a we paper towel?"

"o...of course..." France answered, strange though that he did not finish the sentence with something French like 'mon cher', perhaps he was a little surprised at Canada for still wanting to help Russia.

France left the room and a couple seconds later, since the washroom wasn't that far to begin with, France came back and handed Canada the paper towel. Canada started cleaning the wound, gently wiping the blood off Russia's skin.

"Tell me Matvey" Russia said with no emotion, "Do you have some sort of fetish with me?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"You stare at me, almost constantly... and you try to help me nonstop, is there something you want to say to me?"

Canada gawked at Russia in worry. Was Russia actually watching him the whole time? Canada stuttered, he couldn't find anything to say to that.

"You think I did not know?" Russia continued, "Perhaps there's something you want from me?"

Canada felt his face start to burn... blushing? He was blushing, now? Why would he be blushing though?

Canada felt as if he couldn't answer that, now that he thought about it, he did seem to act like a worried wife, just like America had said.

"Will you not answer me, Matvey?"

"u-uh... I... I-I j-just..."

"...Well?"

Canada then took the paper towel away from Russia's wound and stared at the floor. His mind went almost blank for that moment. _What's wrong with me?_ He placed one hand on his chest to where his heart was and clutched his own shirt. At this moment, he couldn't help but think about China. Russia apparently liked him a lot, but Canada couldn't understand why this bothered him so much. Was he... jealous? That couldn't be it. If he was jealous, then why was he jealous? Was it because he was Russia's favourite? That word didn't sound so important anymore.

"Matvey, you still need to answer me"

"No!" Canada shouted.

"Ah?"

"I don't have a fetish for you... there's nothing I want from you..."

The room was now more silent than ever. The only thing Canada could hear was the clock ticking away. He shook his head and continued cleaning Russia's wound.

"...Well" England said breaking the silence, "Let's hope that America keeps his gun OUT of the conference room next time, alright?"

America was quiet, his eyes focusing on his brother and Russia. His eyes narrowed before he spoke.

"Am I the only one who notices a pattern here?"

XXX

Wait till next update.


	13. Strict

Sweet... It didn't take as long as I thought it would. XD Enjoy. ^^

XXX

"Hm? What pattern would that be, America?" England asked, a little worried by America's tone.

"Well..." America said, "Russia at first seemed to be in full control of Canada, now, there seems to be a pattern of 'Do as I say' back and forth between Russia and my bro"

Russia's eyes grew a little, America was right; he was losing control of Canada. The more the days passed by, the more Canada was slipping out of his control.

Canada was proud of himself to hear this; this meant that he would be able to escape from Russia in no time if he kept it up.

"We'll just have to fix that" Russia said as he attached a collar, with a leash, around Canada's neck.

"Where the he** did he get that!" England shrieked.

"W-What's this?" Canada asked fearing the worst for what little freedom he had left.

"This, is going to be on you twenty four seven. I will be the one holding the end of the leash taking you almost everywhere I go. You will find out more about it in the near future, perhaps" Russia grinned, enjoying his superiority.

"B-But, is this necessary?"

"Da"

Canada was now a real servant; he didn't have any freedom whatsoever. Knowing Russia though, he would find a way to worsen Canada's punishments just by using this collar and leash. Twenty four seven... this meant that he'd have to keep this on during sleep, when he eats, when he wants to go somewhere, and most times Russia would be there. Even after Canada had been nice to Russia he still treated him like a threat... _Is Russia afraid of me?_ Canada stared at Russia. _...No, he's afraid of something else, losing power perhaps._

England sighed.

"Can't we get through a meeting without jumping to a completely different subject?" He said as he placed his hand on the side of his head, almost like a half face-palm.

"Did I just make things worse?" America questioned himself staring at the collar around Canada's neck.

"Git! Don't ignore me!"

"No really England! Russia, I told you, you should be nicer to Canada!"

"I am, I'm not going to hurt him for trying to tell me what to do" Russia chuckled, "Now, if you excuse us we need to go home now. Come baltics"

"Y-Yes sir" The baltics said together.

So, Russia, the baltics and Canada headed to the door, Canada giving the others one more look of worry before they exited the room and building, making their way home. Canada felt a little embarrassed to have to be on a leash like a dog, he couldn't just simply undo it either. The collar was attached to the leash and the collar had a small flat metal lock on it with a keyhole. Canada had no idea how or where Russia got it, he had never seen it in any of the countries before... or maybe Russia just made it himself for some reason. Either way it didn't matter much, Canada had to figure out how to get out of this mess before thinking about any other of his previous plans to be set free. Because Canada was behind Russia as they walked, he couldn't see his face, but he thought for sure the man was smiling, enjoying Canada's misery. He could hear Russia cough from time to time, they were small coughs though so, he was probably going to be fine sooner or later, that is, if being wet from that water balloon didn't make him sick again.

"Kyaaaaa~!" came a girls voice suddenly.

Canada glanced in the direction it came from. It was Hungary, and she was with Austria. This day only got worse for Canada. The blush on his face grew as he looked away from the couple.

"Russia, are you claiming your man the forceful way?"

Russia gave Hungary a strange look before looking back at Canada. He watched him, waiting to see if he'd say anything to Hungary's comment... nothing. Canada didn't care much to what Hungary or Austria or anybody would have said right now too much, he was more focused on how ridiculous he must have looked. Russia was a little disappointed in this; he was looking forward to seeing Canada's troubled face become more troubled. He looked back at Hungary with a smile.

"нет, He's just a trouble maker" Russia said.

Russia immediately tugged on the leash making Canada walk forward, letting him know they were moving again. Canada did not make eye contact with Austria or Hungary as he passed them. _This is horrible... How can I escape if he's constantly watching me?_

:::

Once home, the baltics entered the house along with Russia and Canada. Everyone, except Russia, took their coats and boots off and awaited Russia's orders.

"Wait Matvey" Russia said before Canada could take his own coat and boots off, "You'll need those still"

Russia turned to look at the baltics.

"Lithuania, cook... Latvia, clean... and Estonia, shovel the snow around my house" Those were the orders given by Russia.

Canada still waited for Russia to tell him what to do now. Russia only turned to the door and opened it again. He exited the house taking Canada with him. The two walked down the path from Russia's house to a small town not too far from them. Was Russia intentionally trying to get Canada to break down in tears? Well, Canada wasn't about to let Russia have his way like that, leash or no leash. Surprisingly, no one stared. Canada looked around to see if even one person was looking, he'd get a glance every once in a while but other than that. No pointing, no staring, and only a little gossiping, but not about him. Were people here used to seeing this kind of thing? Even so, Canada didn't feel too uncomfortable at the moment, which was good, for him.

"Ivan...?" Canada said softly.

"Da?"

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see"

After that, Canada remained quiet during the remainder of the trip to wherever they were heading. It was a long enough walk; it gave Canada some time to think. _Is it really necessary for Russia to be so controlling? I mean... I know I tried to tell him what to do once in a while, but that's no reason why he should treat me like this._

"We're here" Russia said.

Canada looked up at the store name. He couldn't read it due to it being in Russian, but once he entered the store, he found the place was a flower shop. Tulips, Lilies, Roses, etc. But the one kind of flower Russia had his eyes on, were the sunflowers.

"Don't you already have some at home?" Canada asked.

Russia did not answer, he just smiled as he stared at his favourite flower. Finally, he looked at Canada. Canada was a little amazed at Russia's smile, not creepy, not too happy, not sad... but, calm, sweet.

"Matvey" He said as he looked back at the flowers. He took one in his hand, still smiling, "This is where I come to get my sunflowers, it makes me feel relaxed... and happy"

"Happy enough to let me go?" Canada joked.

Russia giggled too. _Russia, he seems so at peace when he's around sunflowers. It really is his favourite flower... and for a good reason too. _Also, it seemed that Russia's flu was gone. This made Canada feel better. Knowing Russia would be ok now.

"So... why did you bring me here, Ivan?" Canada asked.

Russia looked back at Canada, then handed him the sunflower.

"Here"

Canada felt his face burning again. He tried to ignore the blush growing on his face, but he just couldn't. Then, he reached for the sunflower, and gently took it from Russia. _This flower, it has the power to sooth the beast inside of Russia... but... he's not a beast, I know that now. _Canada then smiled too. He felt that being there, in that calm beautiful store, with Russia... it was peaceful... peaceful...? With Russia? The thought of this would confuse America for sure, but not Canada. He felt Russia did have a good side to him, even if he did take all of Canada's freedom.

"Ivan..." Canada said softly as his eyes peeked from the flower to Russia.

"Da?"

"I... I love this place, it's so peaceful here"

"Da, it is... but, we must go now"

"Eh? W-Why?"

Canada didn't really want to leave this shop especially not so suddenly, Russia was so happy here, it made Canada happy.

"I need to go visit China" Russia smiled, this time much more childish than calm or sweet, "I'm going to make him become one with me one way or another"

Become one... That's what Russia usually asked everyone, mostly China. Though, China would always say no. Sometimes if Russia harassed him enough the poor man would start to yell at him. Canada's heart, it hurt. Canada didn't understand it. Why was he so jealous of China? Russia turned and left the store, Canada following behind. Canada didn't want to go though; he didn't want to have to watch Russia annoy China into becoming one with him, but, Russia did say 'we' which meant both of them. Canada sighed quietly. _Being his favourite, it hurts me more than just physically... _Canada said nothing to Russia, just listened to the soft snow crunch beneath his feat and the people around him talking about various things. _I feel so, torn... why do I have to be jealous of China?...Am I-_

"Matvey" Russia said.

Canada looked up at Russia, his heart jumped too quickly to fill itself with hope. Canada cursed in his head at his stupid emotions; they were confusing him, yet, giving him an answer he couldn't believe.

"Pick up the pace, Matvey~ My hands are getting cold"

"Oh?"

Just for that brief moment Canada decided to forget about China and caught up with Russia until he was right in front of him.

"Ah?" Russia stared curiously at Canada as he took off Russia's leather gloves, "What are you doing?"

Canada didn't answer him, he cupped Russia's hand together in his own and breathed on them, warming them up with his breath. Russia raised an eyebrow.

"...I put you on a leash and you still insist on trying to find ways to soften my heart for you?"

"No, I mean... нет, My papa used to warm my hands when they were cold, so, I thought I'd do the same for you"

Canada continued warming Russia's hands with his breath, then rubbed his hands together to help keep them warm.

"This will not get you your freedom, Matvey-"

"-Ivan..." Canada interrupted. Russia's eyes grew a bit, "I'm not trying to gain my freedom back from this"

"Then, what do you want?"

"C-Can't you just accept that someone's being nice to you without having to question them?"

"нет, I can't"

"Why not?"

Russia glared, his peaceful side lost again.

"Because people are only nice to you if they want something from you? Now, what do you want?"

Canada's eyes lowered to Russia's hands. He decided it best if he just finished it off. Canada gently kissed Russia's hands before letting them go. When he looked back at Russia however, Russia just gave him a stunned expression.

"Um... my papa would always kiss my hands after he was done, too..."

Canada gave Russia back is gloves and watched Russia stare at them for only a moment before taking them and putting them back on.

"Are they warmer now?" Canada asked as he averted his eyes from Russia.

Russia just stared at his hands, no expression. This made Canada wonder if he did something wrong, or if he was getting through to Russia once again.

"Da... they're warmer now..." Russia finally said, but still did not look away from his hands, "Let's go"

Canada followed Russia as he led the way to China's house. He could see they were heading for the train station. That's how they were going to China.

"Did your papa care about you?" Russia asked.

"Eh? Uh, oh... yes. I know people think he's a real pervert... but he was truly a caring father" Canada giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"I just remember that every time I came in from playing in the cold he'd pick me up and wrap me in a warm blanket, then... I'd fall asleep in his arms"

Russia stopped in front of the station doors before looking back at Canada.

"Then England took you" He said.

"...Yeah, then England took me... b-but he was a good father too!"

"Matvey, why do you always see the positives in people?"

"I don't know... why do you always see the negatives?"

This come back was similar to Russia's when they had talked about fetishes. Russia didn't get upset though, no, he smiled.

"Come" Russia said as he entered the building, "China's waiting"

_I highly doubt that, Ivan..._

XXX

Wait till next update.


	14. Rejection

Yup, it seems I'm getting back to updating earlier again. ^^ Well, Enjoy.

XXX

After getting what they needed, Canada and Russia headed for their train. The station wasn't overly crowded, but still had enough people to get lost in. Though, it would be pretty impossible to get lost here anyway with Russia, for one thing he wouldn't let go of the leash, for another he was taller than almost anyone else here, Canada could easily spot him. Once they found their train, they stepped on board and made their way to the very back, which was where their seats were. Canada examined the inside of the train. Looked pretty normal, nothing too fancy. It had old heaters on the sides of the inside of the train to keep the inside warm, doors that would slide open to the small space with the passenger seats, and regular lights on the ceiling for those night trips and dark tunnels. All n all, it was nothing special, but the seats looked comfy so that was a bonus. Soon enough, the train began to move. Canada watched everything pass out the window. Everything started out slow, but the objects began to speed by, if you blinked you'd probably miss something. _This seems nice, I don't know how long it's been since I've been on a train._ Canada stopped in front of the door with their number on it. The very very back, figures.

Suddenly Canada felt Russia grab him; Russia picked up Canada and opened the door to the outside. The wind blew Canada's and Russia's hair once he stepped outside.

"Sorry Matvey, I can't afford to keep you on the train, I'm going to hold on to the leash and when I throw you off-"

"W-WHAT!" Canada shrieked as he struggled to get free from Russia.

Was he really serious about throwing Canada overboard while holding the leash? He could break his neck that way, but that was the least of his worries in this situation. Immediately Canada broke free from Russia's grasp and without thinking, he tackled him to the floor and clung to him. Russia stared, mouth open and eyes curious at his trembling servant.

"Matvey... I was joking" Russia said.

Canada peeked up. He lifted his head to look at Russia better.

"Why did you tackle me?"

"W-Why else? I thought you were actually going to throw me off!"

"...I see" Russia said as he sat up right, Canada doing the same, To Russia it was amazing that Canada had the strength to knock him to the floor in the first place. He couldn't have before, so why now? Was it fear that caused his strength? "Well, let's get to our seats then~" Russia smiled.

Canada pouted as he stood up and off of Russia. Russia got up and patted Canada's head before taking his seat. _..ok, maybe it was just a joke... maybe I'm overreacting_ Canada thought as he folded his arms staring at the floor. Canada wondered if he was just getting mad for no real reason, but, why was he so mad?

"Matvey~ Are you going to sit down?" Russia asked impatiently but not angry.

_Russia, even if he is kind of cruel, even in his jokes, he's still a good guy at heart. I really shouldn't get so upset with him_.

Canada looked up to see Russia, sitting properly in his seat, hands on lap and back against seat, but not into a slump.

"...Do you think China will become one today? I have a good feeling about it" Russia giggled, deciding to change the subject.

Immediately the anger rose in Canada once again. Oh yeah, China... that's all he had on his mind right now. Russia liked the guy so much it was ridiculous. He'd take a train, this train right now, every time he got the chance to just to see him hoping he'd say 'yes I'll become one with you'. It made Canada so angry just thinking about this... but it never bothered him before in the conference's, so why now? Perhaps it was because he got to know Russia better?

"Matvey? You look stressed"

Canada, fists clenched, shot a glare in Russia's direction before grabbing the two slide doors and slamming them together. Fortunately, the leash was thin enough to fit between the doors making it possible for Canada to lock it from the outside, but unfortunately the leash was too strong for the doors to cut it.

"Ah?" Russia got up from his seat and tried to open the door, but couldn't.

Canada just continued to glare at the Russian, until he turned around and sat down on the floor, crossing his legs, arms folded, and angrier than he's ever been before. Then, Russia glared, his more menacing of course. He began to 'kol' but that didn't get the Canadian's attention.

"Matvey, open this door"

No answer. Canada knew Russia wouldn't break down the door in a train, especially not one in his own country, so he ignored him. Russia stepped back, then tugged on the leash causing Canada's head to slam against the doors. He yelped as soon as it hit. He leaned forward and held his head. He could feel the pain throbbing, creating a small headache, the headache didn't last long thankfully, but the pain stayed.

"My patience is wearing thin with you, open the door"

Canada didn't want to open the door to him. He just wanted to be away from him already, then he wouldn't have to hear 'China this, and China that'. Canada felt, he couldn't wait but go back to being his own invisible country again already... but, he just couldn't do that. He looked back at Russia, glaring. He wasn't going to get anywhere doing this, it was pointless... So, Canada just stood up, and unlocked the doors. Russia opened up the doors and continued to glare at Canada.

"Why the sudden rage towards me, Matvey?" He said angrily.

Canada, once again, did not answer; he only stared at the floor hating his emotions, hating Russia.

"Fine, do not answer me... but you do realize I will have to punish you later for this, now sit down"

Russia went back to his seat and sat down; Canada didn't do the same however. Too deep in thought to care if he was to be punished when they get back. Besides, he didn't believe Russia really would, he had hesitated last time after all. Canada sighed and decided to sit down across from Russia, _He didn't deserve that... but, I feel so selfish around him..._

"...Ivan" Canada said almost in a whisper.

"Da?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so mad"

"Da, you're right you shouldn't have" Russia took a second look at Canada, Canada's head hung down staring at his hands on his lap. Shame was written all over his body language. He truly was sorry. Russia's anger calmed the longer he stared at Canada, "Matvey, what made you so mad that you had to slam the sliding doors in such a disrespectful way?"

_No, I won't tell him..._ Canada could never bring himself to tell Russia what was going on; that he felt jealous... it just wasn't going to happen... ever.

"I'm sorry..." Was all Canada said in reply.

Russia folded his arms, his eyes averting themselves from Canada. His anger starting to return, but not as bad as before.

"Fine..." He growled.

:::

From the remainder of their trip to China's house Canada slept. He was lying on the comfortable seat on his back, hands on his stomach and face pointed to the side. Russia watched the boy as he slept peacefully, his chest heaving calmly and position seemed relaxed. Something inside of Russia found this kind of, adorable. Russia couldn't help but want to actually get a better look at Canada, Russia never got a real chance to see Canada up close without Canada backing away, whether he was scared or mad. Though, he did get to hug him a couple of times. He had to admit to himself, the boy was soft. Russia got up from his seat and kneeled beside the seat Canada was laying on. He removed his glove, reached out his hand and softly stroked Canada's forehead. His fingers moved from his forehead to his head allowing his fingers to run through Canada's hair. Russia felt almost as calm as Canada looked at that moment.

"Perhaps, it was wrong of me to take your freedom... little Matvey" Russia said, hoping Canada could maybe hear this in his dreams, but also hoping Canada wasn't awake to hear it in person.

Then, America's words came back to him, as if to haunt him once more. _'__Canada's been nothing but nice to you from what I've seen and you still act like a bitch!'_. It was the truth, and like the old saying 'the truth hurt', it really did hurt.

"Is that why you are always so mad at me now? Or... was it because..."

The memory, of that one night Russia was drunk. He could barely remember it, but that painful memory came to him. Russia remembered, he had grabbed Canada's hair and dragged him to, what Russia called, the silent room. The tears in Canada's eyes, his shrill screams... the whip marks on his back. Even after all that, he insisted on caring for Russia, even after all Russia had done to him. Canada, he really was a peacekeeper. No matter how much pain Russia had put him through, he still tried to help him.

The train started to slow down. Russia looked out the window; finally, they made it to their destination. Russia stood up, put his glove back on and shook Canada's shoulder gently, but quickly enough to wake him up.

"Time to wake up Canada" Russia said expressionless.

Canada groaned at first, but he soon sat up, rubbed his eyes, adjusted his glasses and looked up at Russia. His eyes still looked tired and he was a little tired himself. But they both knew that he'd get over it.

"Come"

Russia stepped out of their seat area and made his way to the exit of the train, Canada followed close behind. As they walked off the train and through the station, Canada didn't bother to look around. He had seen China's house before. Yes, the whole country, all the land that belonged to the nation was called their 'house', basically because the nations land was their home for them and their people. But each nation had their own **real** house too of course. Still, Canada was a little too depressed at the moment to care about what was going on.

"Canada, remember. We are in China now which means you have to call me Mr. Russia again, Da?"

"...Da... Mr. Russia"

As they walked by, people gave the two strange looks, some people, mostly children, even pointed at them. This was no surprise to Canada though; this is what he expected being on a leash and having to follow Russia around everywhere. Though, Russia didn't seem too stressed out, not from behind anyway.

It didn't take too long to find China's house, seeing as Russia knew the way already. Russia stopped in front of the door and knocked lightly. His smile was bigger and more cheerful than ever. His posture was a bit childish however. He waited for China to answer the door, hands behind back as he swayed side to side. All he needed was a few hearts over his head and he'd be set. The door opened, and there stood China, not looking too pleased with seeing Russia at his doorstep again.

"Let me guess, aru. Become one?" He said.

"Da! Will you?" Russia answered cheerfully.

China sighed.

"No aru... I will never become one with you"

"But China, you will, and we will be happy, You, me, the baltics and Canada"

"Oh yeah, I've seen how **happy** the baltics and Canada are with you. No thank you aru"

With that China shut the door on Russia's face. China seemed a bit more than just angry at Russia, but Canada couldn't blame him after all the harassing Russia's done to him. Russia, on the other hand, was probably used to having the door slammed right in front of him, but he still looked a little upset. Canada looked up at Russia, just seeing his sad expression, it made him feel guilty for what he did on the train.

"Mr. Russia" Canada said, "...m-maybe... maybe you'll have better luck next time..."

"...Da..." Russia looked down at Canada, his sad eyes showing no tears, but enough sorrow to make Canada feel sorry for him even, "Let's go home, Canada"

They both headed back to the train station.

Russia seemed to have his hopes up so high when he talked about visiting China, was he always like that when he went to visit him? If so, then he was always crushed afterward. _Just seeing him get so upset over China like that... he likes him a lot... I should accept that. Yet, I feel so heartbroken, I must really be... No. I can't accept that, ever. _

Once at the station, Russia and Canada boarded the train, this time their seats somewhere between the end and the middle. They were the last ones to board so it didn't take as long for the train to get going. Canada kept his eyes on Russia, waiting to see if he'd say anything about, well, anything... No luck...

Canada didn't bother to say anything to Russia, he thought it would be best just to let him think this over. So, Canada just looked out the window, wondering if things would get better for him, and for Russia.

XXX

Wait till next update.


	15. Train ride home

Enjoy. ^^

XXX

An uneasy felling surrounded Canada and Russia on the trip back home. Russia hadn't said anything for almost half an hour and Canada didn't know what to say, if he should say anything at all. It felt a little awkward seeing Russia so heartbroken. He only stared at his hands that rested on his lap. Perhaps he was deep in thought, or not thinking at all, either way it was hard to watch him like this. _I should say something... anything at this point_ Canada thought, but he didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to say something, but only a small 'uh' came out. As soon as Russia looked up at him, Canada immediately shut his mouth. Another awkward silence, only this time. Russia kept his eyes on Canada, making him feel a little uncomfortable. Canada tried again to say something, but he just gave up and looked away from Russia. _This is ridiculous, I feel so confused... What do I do? What if I get in trouble for wanting to talk to him? What if he wants me to talk to him? Should I even bother, do I even want to-_

Footsteps, they came towards Canada. Canada looked back at Russia to see him sit down beside him.

"Canada..." Russia said as he looked at Canada, no hope in his eyes.

Was he always like this after coming back from visiting China? Canada knew, Russia really did care about China. That was something Canada never had, was someone to care about him enough to remember him every day, to want to see him. Heck, he wasn't even important enough to be noticed by his own brother or father most times. By this time everybody had probably forgotten about him.

"Da?" Canada answered trying to keep even a little cheer on his face so he wouldn't make Russia even more upset than he was.

"I do not think China will ever be mine"

Canada secretly hoped that that was true, but after, he felt so selfish and terrible for thinking that in the first place. This wasn't him, to think this way for anyone, he didn't want to see Russia's pain, he wanted him to smile, to be happy, but to do this would only cause Canada pain.

"...O-Of course he will" Canada said as he looked away again, "Y-You just have to hope is all"

Canada felt the tears starting to form in his eyes. He quickly wiped the tears away, hoping Russia wouldn't see, but they only came back. Then, he felt Russia's hands on his face. Russia turned Canada's head to face Russia. The look on Russia's face was a little upset, but more curious.

"You are crying? Why?"

Canada didn't bother to say anything. His eyes focused away from Russia. He didn't want Russia to see him cry again, but what choice did he have, really? If he chose to rebel again there would be more punishments, and he really didn't feel like rebelling at the moment anyway. He knew he was already in trouble, and that was bad enough. Russia let go of Canada's face, allowing him to turn away from Russia once more.

"I'm sorry..." Canada muttered.

"...I do not understand you sometimes, Canada"

Canada could have said the same thing to Russia, but he felt too much that he knew him. How could he though, just because of a few hunches on what he thought Russia was like? Canada wiped his tears away.

"Um... H-How's your wound?" Canada asked almost in a whisper, but loud enough for Russia to hear him.

"It is fine, I have been through worse than this"

The two remained silent for a moment or so after that. Canada didn't feel too much like talking to Russia, he was still upset with him, but Canada didn't want to be upset with him... he didn't do anything wrong.

Canada rested his head against the wall as he watched everything pass by. He had never felt so lonely in his entire life, and he was always lonely before, but now he had Russia and the baltics to talk to. Still, that thought didn't make the feeling fade. _The baltics, they tell me how bad Ivan truly is, just like everyone else has told me. I myself have witnessed the monster inside of him... but, I've also seen the caring side. _The caring side, Russia trusted Canada now, right? Canada wasn't so sure about that. What he really wanted though, was for Russia to maybe, like him. Just thinking about that though, it made Canada question himself, _Why do I have to have these feelings for him, why can't he see it?_ Canada glanced back over his shoulder at Russia, nervous, , if he got to know how Russia truly felt about him, he would know for sure...

"Mr. R-Russia?" Canada said as he turned to face Russia.

"Da?"

"U-Um..."

Canada began to feel nervous, he couldn't understand why. It was just a simple question, not like he was going to die if he asked it. Although, knowing Russia... he might end up dead.

"D-D-Do y-you... u-uh. I-I mean...um"

"...Da?"

"D-Do you... like me?"

"Huh?"

Canada waited impatiently for Russia's answer, his heart almost racing in his chest and the blush on his face growing bigger.

"You mean... Love?"

Just then, Canada could feel his heart jump as if it was trying to escape his chest from fear of being ripped out by Russia's own hands. His brain screamed to change the subject somehow and his body trembled. _I can do this... I-I can..._

"...N-NO! O-of course not! I-I mean, j-just like, y-y-you know, a-as friends?"

Canada had done what his mind wanted, but he didn't feel any better about it. Canada looked up at Russia and smiled, but it was a fake smile.

"Y-You know what, f-forget about it. J-just pretend I d-didn't say anything at all. Y-You know, l-like always..."

Russia just stared at Canada, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. Canada sighed before scooting away from Russia and getting out of his seat.

"I'll just sit across from you" He said, his shyness turning into anger.

But before Canada could make a full step Russia tugged back on the leash causing Canada to fall backwards, only so Russia could catch him. Canada glanced up at the grinning Russia. His smile was only a little frightening, but that's not what Canada was afraid of.

"Matvey, what did I say about you being my friend?"

Seeing as Russia called Canada Matvey again, and not Canada, they must have entered Russia's country again. But that wasn't important now. All Russia needed was someone he can reach out to, to trust and care about. Canada was determined to be that someone, even if he couldn't spit out the exact words.

"I-I can take any pain life throws at me! Trust me... Why can't you just let me be your friend?"

Canada stood up and faced Russia with a glare, uncaring if he were to be brutally beaten once he got back, although he knew for sure he'd regret it later.

"You're afraid of getting hurt aren't you?" Canada said, trying to remain calm.

"That's none of your bu-"

"Please answer my question!"

Canada really didn't want to get on Russia's nerves, especially after China had rejected him so badly, but he had to do this. He didn't know why, but a strong feeling inside him wanted him to do this.

Russia glared back at Canada. Things weren't going as Canada had hoped, but what else should he have expected.

"Do not interrupt me, Matvey!" Russia growled, losing his patience with Canada's behaviour.

"Why is it so hard for you to trust me? What have I done to hurt you?"

"You are no different than everybody else, you do not actually care about if I am happy, or mad, or hurt or not. So stop trying to-"

Then, Canada immediately wrapped his arms around Russia, holding him tightly. Russia stared, confused, and curious.

"Matvey, let me go"

"Nyet... Not until you tell me" Canada whispered, his accent a little off.

Russia grabbed Canada's upper arms, grasping them tightly, but Canada only held on tighter, trying not to whimper or yelp in pain as he clutched Russia's coat.

"I said, let go. Or else you will have more punishments!"

"Then t-tell me!"

"Tell you what?"

"...Tell me the truth" Canada looked up at Russia with determined eyes, "Why do you always want me to say your name? Why did you save me when you could have just watched me die painfully. People always say that that's what you like to see, others pain... I don't even think you can punish me anymore, you hesitated the last time!"

"You want pain?"

Suddenly Russia pushed Canada against the wall, grasping both his wrists with one hand as he pulled out a gun with the other. This is when Canada realized what he had gotten himself into. If only he had kept his mouth shut, this wouldn't be happening to him. Russia aimed the gun directly at Canada's heart. This would for sure actually kill Canada. Once a country dies, there's only a fifty/ fifty chance that they'd come back. Some countries have been lucky to come back, but Canada, his importance to the world didn't seem good enough for that chance to happen. Russia readied the gun, then placed his hand on the trigger. _Well, I-I guess I was asking for it... _Canada closed his eyes, took a quick deep breath and waited for his death.

Russia pulled the trigger a little, but not enough for it to fire. Something was stopping him. His anger showed, but he did not pull the trigger all the way. His grasp on Canada's wrists tightened, but then, they softened... Russia sighed, then threw the gun to the floor. Canada opened his eyes to see the gun across the room now.

"...Matvey..." Russia said as he looked away from Canada, "Just, stop caring about me..."

Canada's eyes showed sympathy for Russia. Russia really was afraid of getting hurt. He was afraid of letting someone get too close to him, but Canada knew all he wanted was someone to care about him... and Canada was the only one who did, that was why he didn't pull the trigger, it must have been.

"...I can't"

Russia looked back at Canada, trying to show his anger, but he couldn't seem to stay mad at the sympathetic face that gave him a kind soft smile.

Russia only stared at the kind boy as the thoughts that haunted him before, returned to him. He didn't want to admit it, but America was right. He let go of Canada.

"Fine, if you really want to risk your reputation for my sake... then you can be my friend"

Canada smiled bigger, but shyly, trying to hold in his joy. Immediately, he hugged Russia once more. Russia didn't seem to know how to react to this kind of hug. It was comfortable, not too tight, and warm. Russia looked around to see if anyone was walking by, able to see them, or just watching through the see through doors, no one. He looked back at Canada, and gently wrapped his arms around him.

The train then began to slow down, they were nearing the end of their trip.

"I do like you, Matvey..." Russia said as he pulled Canada closer into a tighter hug, "You are the only one that is nice to me"

Canada lay his head on Russia's chest as he continued to hold on to him. He knew what Russia meant by that, even though his sisters were nice to him, as far as Canada knew, he needed someone not related to him that would understand.

Russia let go of Canada and led the way out of the train as soon as it stopped. They exited the train, and Canada, instead of walking behind Russia, walked beside him the rest of the way home.

XXX

Well, this one is still a short chapter. Fffffff... I'll try to make a longer one next time. Wait till next update.


	16. What not to say

Enjoy. ^^

XXX

"Matvey"

"Da?"

"What is life like in Canada?"

Canada smiled softly as he continued to walk beside his new friend. The night wasn't too cold at all, in fact, it was actually fairly nice. The walk back was relaxing, and the air was perfect.

"Well, the land itself is huge, but the population is not, which makes things feel more... comfortable"

"...and?" Russia said as he looked at Canada, curious to know more.

"Well uh, the people are fairly nice, and the weather there may be a bit crazy sometimes, but when that perfect time of the year comes around, it's all worth it"

"Ah? What is the perfect time of the year?"

This, Canada never really took much thought into, but he quickly found a good answer.

"I guess, whatever time you like... for me, it would have to be a calm quiet day with soft winds and-"

"-Friends to talk to?"

Canada began to fidget with his fingers, a sad smile replaced his happy one.

"I guess..."

"You guess?"

"The only person that ever came to my house was America, but, he just barged in without permission all the time"

They walked silence. Russia, not knowing what else to say, and Canada, just thinking to himself. Canada was used to being forgotten and invisible, but even though that was true, he tried to keep a happy face on. Then, Canada giggled before looking up at Russia with a much more cheerful smile. He patted his shoulder, then jumped in front of him and started to walk backwards, hands behind him.

"Ok, I answered your question, now you answer mine"

Russia stared at Canada, blinking a couple times. Canada couldn't quite understand Russia's face expression, but it looked like he was confused for some reason.

"D-Da... go ahead"

"Ok, what do you dislike about your country?"

It was an easy question, but for a nation to say what they disliked about their own land would take a lot of pride swallowing.

"I think I've told you already before, Matvey"

"Eh?" Canada now, was the one confused.

Did Russia ever tell Canada, was Canada even listening when he said it? Canada felt a bit ashamed for forgetting, what was worse that the shame showed on his face.

"S-Sorry... I forgot" Canada whispered, as he stopped himself from walking any further.

Canada felt guilty, he never thought of himself as a forgetful person, but apparently he did forget from time to time. He held his own arm, and stared at the ground, the guilt rising. Until, he felt Russia's hand on his head. He looked up at Russia to see him actually smiling at him in a friendly way.

"Do not worry so much, Matvey... oh, and it is snow"

"Eh?"

"I dislike all the snow in my country" Russia took his hand off Canada's head and continued to walk forward, while Canada just stayed in one place, hand almost covering mouth.

Canada turned around and followed Russia before the leash could tug his neck again. He ran up to his side and walked with him again. When he looked in front of him, he found they were home. The house was in sight, but before they were close enough to the door, Canada felt he wanted to try something. Canada looked up at Russia, then at the snow on the ground. He wondered, maybe, if he showed Russia the positive side of things more, maybe Russia wouldn't be so untrusting.

"I bet I can get you to like the snow" Canada giggled.

"Ah?" Russia stared, probably wondering how Canada could do that.

Immediately Canada took Russia's hands and laughed as he fell backwards in the snow. Russia's eyes grew as he fell with him. Both were now on the ground in the snow. Canada giggled some more before opening his eyes. Russia stared, eyes wide as he lay on top of him.

"Lay beside me" Canada said with a soft, shy smile.

It took a while for Russia to realize what had just happened, but soon enough, he did as Canada said.

Canada turned on his side to face Russia.

"You see? It's not bad at all"

Canada turned on his back and lay flat in the snow. Russia stared at Canada a little longer before looking at the sky, watching the snow fall down. For once, being around Russia was nice, and Canada did not have to fear him, or perhaps, not for now.

"It's nice, right?" Canada said, watching the snow fall with Russia.

"...I guess" Russia answered.

Canada sat up and watched Russia as he lay still in the snow staring at the sky. It was clear to him that Russia wasn't going to like the snow anytime soon, so, he wondered; what if he could make Russia happy? What if there was a place that he could take him that would make his dreams come true... He got it.

"Ivan?"

"Da?"

Canada stood up and Russia did the same soon after.

"There is a place in my country... I-I mean, your country... now, that I'd like to show you"

Canada shuffled his feet sheepishly as he poked his fingers together. No answer from Russia yet. He glanced up shyly to see Russia staring back, as if waiting for Canada to say something else about this place he wanted to take him to.

"It's in Ontario, i-if you want to go, that is"

"...Da, I'll go"

Canada smiled to himself, he felt that having Russia trust him was the best feeling he had in his entire life. Becoming friends with this man itself was a huge accomplishment. Still, Russia's trust was probably still near the edge of distrust, but at least Canada was getting somewhere with him.

"Today, we rest and tomorrow, we leave" Russia said as he headed for the door to the house.

Canada followed. Once they entered the house they took off their coats and boots and was soon greeted by Lithuania.

"W-Welcome back Mr. Russia, h-how was your trip to China?" He said with a nervous expression.

"Terrible" Russia answered as he stretched.

Lithuania's face immediately changed from nervous to panic. So, for sure he tried to make things better to save his skin.

"I-I'm s-sorry to hear that s-sir! U-um, d-dinner's ready i-if you're hungry"

"Y-Yeah, it's very delicious unless you have terrible taste in food, s-sir!" Latvia said poking his head out of the kitchen.

"Latviaaa! Shut up!" Estonia shouted from the kitchen, his voice filled with fear for their lives.

"I-I'm sorry!" Latvia answered as he ran back in the kitchen to Estonia.

Of course, Russia only reacted with a creepy smile, the usual one that let the baltics know he was mad, or getting there. Estonia and Latvia came out of the kitchen and set the table for Russia and Canada since the baltics had probably already eaten anyway.

"Oh" Russia said, then turned to face Canada, "I forgot, you have a punishment waiting for you"

"W-What did he do this time!" All three baltics cried.

Canada felt maybe he was still safe, after all, Russia wouldn't really be able to bring himself to punish Canada anyway, right? Besides that, they were friends now and friends don't do that to each other... but did Russia know that? Russia approached Canada, then placed his hand under his chin and lifted his head. Canada didn't know what kind of punishment he had coming this time, but he tried his best not to panic. His eyes glanced down at Russia's hand that reached into his pocket, it couldn't be the gun, he left that on the train, which, was probably a bad idea in the first place. Then, Canada could see it as Russia took it out of his pocket, a key. Russia inserted the key into the collar. Then, Canada heard a click and the collar came off. Russia took the collar and leash and put it up where only he could reach.

"There, I'll keep that off of you until tomorrow ends, for now you can go where you please as long as you come right back here"

Another test of trust, that's what this was. Even so, Canada smiled and accepted it. Still, he was a little confused to why Russia wasn't punishing him, but at the same time probably knew why he didn't.

"B-But, what about my punishment?" Canada asked.

"Do friends hurt each other?"

Canada's eyes grew. Russia really was a better person than everyone else had thought. The look on the baltics faces made Russia smile. Now, they were the first to know that Canada was Russia's first real friend.

"U-Um, sir? W-What exactly happened on that trip?" Latvia asked.

"None of your business Latvia"

:::

After supper, Canada went upstairs, grabbed a towel and his pj's and entered the bathroom. He put his towel on the towel holder and turned on the shower. _Phew, this week has been very stressful_ After undressing, Canada got in the shower and began washing his hair. He sighed. _Well, after a long day of almost getting killed multiple times, I suppose a good thing to do would be to sleep. _He smiled joking to himself. Canada rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, then just stood there, staring at the wall. He lowered his hands to his side. _Ivan, he likes China still I'm betting... Eh?_ Canada shook his head, _I-I have to stop thinking about this! It's not healthy. _

"...uh oh" Canada said as he turned off the water, "Shouldn't keep the water running for too long"

Canada stepped out of the tub and dried himself with the towel he brought, then dressed himself in his pj's. _Well, it doesn't matter, there's no chance I'm going to get that much attention from Russia anyway, besides I have tomorrow to look forward too._

Canada opened the door to leave the bathroom, but once he stepped outside the room he spotted Russia, who had just come up the stairs, at the end of the hallway.

"...H-Hello Ivan" Canada said shyly.

Russia, before even touching the door to his room, glanced in Canada's direction. A small blush on Canada's face that he tried so hard not to show, appeared and stayed there. He walked up to Russia, then looked up at him with shy eyes, and a soft smile. Russia stared at Canada like he did before when they were walking home, the confused look.

"Did you need something, Matvey?"

_Just say goodnight, that's all..._

"U-Um... g-goodnight Ivan"

With just saying that Canada turned to walk to his room.

"...Matvey" Russia said as he grabbed Canada's shoulder, "I have a question for you"

Canada turned and looked up at Russia once more.

"Why is it, when I said that China may not be mine, then you said I should just hope, that you started crying?"

Canada's mouth froze shut, he couldn't bring himself to lie to Russia, but he also couldn't simply tell him the truth. Russia would hate him for sure, or worse.

"U-Uh..."

Russia let go of Canada's shoulder as Canada took a step back. He wanted to tell Russia, badly, but would it be alright?

"I... It's because, I... I lo-" Immediately Canada covered his mouth. He turned and hurried to his room slamming the door behind him.

"...Ah?" Russia headed over to Canada's room, he tried to open the door but it was locked. He knocked on the door, hoping Canada would answer, "Matvey, what were you going to say?"

Canada, inside the room, lay his back against the door, hand on chest close to his heart. He could feel it beating faster inside his chest. _Stupid me, I shouldn't have done that... I won't tell Russia, I just can't... not now, not ever._ Tears began to fall from his eyes all too quickly, he hated himself for almost saying it to Russia, for almost telling him how he really felt. He couldn't do it, he shouldn't...

Little did Russia and Canada know that the baltics had witnessed this... Had seen what happened.

"D-Did you see that?" Latvia said with a surprised look on his face.

"Y-yeah... but, Mr. Russia is so clueless to what Canada was trying to say, I almost feel sorry for Canada" Lithuania sighed.

Estonia gave Lithuania a strange look before speaking.

"You **almost** feel sorry?" He said.

"Well, I think it's best that Canada doesn't say it. After all, Mr. Russia would probably kill him for it anyway. You know how he is around people who try to get too close to him, I mean, I know Canada and Russia are friends now but, I think that's the best he's going to get from him"

All three were silent for a moment, until Latvia finally looked up at both of them.

"Well, I suppose we should go to bed now, right?" He suggested trying to change the subject to something a bit less sad.

"Yeah, alright" Estonia nodded.

XXX

Wait till next update.


	17. Special gift

Longest chapter I've ever written! DX Warning... it's longer than my other ones. |D Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Sleep, that's all Canada needed right now, and without the collar on him he felt more relaxed and free. He hugged his pillow and smiled gently as he rested in his soft comfortable bed. He didn't even mind having to share the bed with the baltics every night. Even though it was somewhere around three in the morning, he was still comfortable, no stress, not worried. Still, he couldn't seem to get to sleep. Either he was too excited about going to Ontario, or he was just simply wide awake. Canada sat up in bed and stretched as he yawned.

"...Canada?" Came Lithuania's tired voice from beside him.

Canada looked over at Lithuania.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" He whispered, hoping he wouldn't wake the other two... or Russia in that matter.

"No, it's ok" Lithuania sat up also and smiled at Canada, "I'm glad I'm awake now, I was kind of having a nightmare..."

"Oh... well, I was just going to get up and go for a walk around the house to maybe make me tired"

"B-but you might wake Mr. Russia"

Canada moved off the bed, but before he could go anywhere he felt Lithuania's hand grab his arm. He glanced back at Lithuania who glared at him.

"You always get yourself into trouble and I've let your stubbornness slide too many times already. Just wait till morning, please"

"...But, it's just a short walk"

"No, get back in bed"

Lithuania sounded almost like a strict mother, it was kind of funny. Canada didn't want to give Lithuania a panic attack though, so, he crawled back into bed and tucked himself in. Lithuania sighed in relief.

"Thank you..."

"No problem" Canada said as he closed his eyes.

Then, Canada felt Lithuania's hand grab his shoulder and shake him a little. Canada opened his eyes again and looked at him, wondering what was wrong now.

"S-Sorry to wake you again, but, I think it's fair to tell you... that... well"

"...Yes?"

"You kind of, talk in your sleep sometimes..."

Canada immediately sat up. Embarrassed, he held the blanket up to his chest, eyes wide with a big blush forming on his face.

"I-I do? W-What do I say!" He shouted in a panicked voice.

Immediately, Lithuania panicked too and covered Canada's mouth with both hands.

"SSSHHHH! You'll wake Mr. Russia!"

"Lithuania! Y-You're shouting too!" Canada shrieked once he took Lithuania's hands off his mouth.

Both men covered their own mouths, waiting to hear anything, to hear if Russia was up and heading to their room... nothing. They looked at each other for a moment. Then, Canada snickered, trying to hold in a laugh. Lithuania's cheeks turned red as he tried to hold in his own laughter. They both uncovered their mouths and giggled quietly, but wanting to burst into immense laughter.

"S-Sorry" Canada whispered as he continued to giggle.

"N-No it's ok" Lithuania said trying to hold in his giggling, "W-Why did you start giggling in the first place anyway?"

"O-Oh, I've been told it's called a nervous laugh or something, you know, laughing when you're scared, s-sorry"

"No, it's fine. I haven't really been so happy since... Well, I don't really know to be honest"

"Ok... so, what do I say in my sleep?" Canada asked, his giggling ceased.

"Well, random things, really"

"...Do I insult anyone?"

One thing Canada did not want to do was insult someone, especially when he didn't even realize he was insulting them.

"Oh, no of course not. You just talk about things you like... like, Hockey, and Maple syrup, and... who's Kumajiro?"

"Kum? He's my friend, he's a polar bear"

Lithuania gave Canada a strange look. Of course, Canada didn't expect anything else from him.

"He talks..." Canada said, smiling shyly. _Oh dear, I sound like a nut case..._ Lithuania probably thought Canada was crazy now, "Y...You don't believe me do you?"

"Uh... I can't say I do...but, you don't seem like the type to lie so... I guess I believe you"

Canada couldn't decide whether to feel better about telling Lithuania about Kumajiro, or worse. If Lithuania didn't believe Canada bout Kum, would Russia? Would he think he was crazy too? _Maybe, if I ask Russia if I could go get Kum from my house, then Lithuania might actually believe me._ Canada smiled. Knowing that he was going to Ontario to that special place he was going to show Russia, he was excited. Also, he might be able to get his friend too. _I hope Kum's alright..._

"Oh, I don't know if Ivan's going to bring you and Latvia and Estonia along... I should ask, but I told him I'd take him to a place somewhere in Ontario" Canada said as he hugged the blanket close to him.

"Why there?"Lithuania asked, raising n eyebrow.

"W-Well, I can't tell you... it's a secret... I think I'll have to blind fold Ivan until we get there" Canada giggled.

"Well, if you can convince him, though, I'm starting to believe you can"

Canada only stared at Lithuania, mouth open a little, waiting for him to say why that was.

"You are friends with him now, I didn't think that was possible for Mr. Russia to make friends"

"Oh..."

Lithuania gave Canada a look of worry, and at the same time joy.

"I'm kind of amazed you've accomplished this... at the same time, I'm worried about what might happen if you break the friendship with Russia"

"B-Break it? I wouldn't do that to him, ever..." Canada's words slowed as he spoke. Just saying this brought back the memories of how Russia acted around China, or even when he was just talking about him. He lowered his head. Canada's heart couldn't help but hurt when he thought of this, "...never..."

Lithuania put his hand on Canada's shoulder. Canada looked up at him. Lithuania gave Canada a sympathetic smile as he took his hand off his shoulder.

"I know how much he means to you" Lithuania said.

"Y-You do?"

"Yes... don't worry, I'll keep it a secret"

Canada stared, shocked. Did Lithuania really know the feelings Canada had for Russia?

"Just a question of curiosity... but, why won't you tell him?"

Canada let go of the blanket and stared down with sad eyes. He thought about China, then Russia. The two seemed so different, yet. Russia wanted China so badly... how could he say what he wanted to Russia if Russia as so interested in some else? Not only that, but Russia might punish Canada just for saying what he wanted, friend or not, this was going pass friendship.

"I'm too scared to tell him... plus, it wouldn't be right..."

"Well, I can understand why you would be scared..."

"Yeah..."

Silence for a moment, then Lithuania put his hand to his mouth and yawned before laying down and tucking himself in.

"Well, sorry I can't talk to you through the whole night, I'm tired" He said as he closed his eyes.

Canada smiled softly, he laid down and tucked himself in as well, and closed his eyes.

"That's ok... goodnight"

:::

Canada opened his eyes. He looked at the clock to see what time it was, five o clock exactly. Was Canada really so excited that he couldn't wait to get up? He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes before putting on his glasses. Then, a creak from the door, and it opened. There stood Russia, an almost surprised expression turned into a calm smile, and calm eyes.

"Ah, good, you are awake. I was going to wake you up now, but it seems I do not have to" He said.

"Y-You were going to wake me up? This early? I-It's only five though"

"Da, I want to go to that place you told me about early. So hurry and get yourself ready" Russia said before leaving, closing the door behind him.

_So early? He must be as excited as I am_ Canada hopped out of bed and quickly got himself dressed. After getting what he needed done, done, he headed downstairs to meet the others. Once there, he sat down to eat breakfast with everyone else. Again, he wasn't too familiar with the food, but once he tried it, it didn't taste too bad. He continued eating, not too fast, but almost in a hurry. His eyes peeked in Russia's direction. Russia didn't seem to be eating anything at the moment, just drinking vodka. Canada felt a little concerned for Russia's sake.

"I-Ivan?" He said.

Russia was just about to take another drink of vodka until he stopped to he look at Canada.

"Da?"

"Did you eat anything at all?"

Russia set the vodka bottle down on the table. He tapped his fingers on the table, then smirked at Canada. Canada only stared at Russia, confused. _Was it something I said? _

"Matvey..." Russia said as he leaned over a little, resting his head on his hand, "What I've noticed recently is that we have a failure to communicate sometimes"

"E-Eh? W-We do?"

"Da... when I asked you that question about China, you did not answer. Instead you ran"

The way Russia explained it, he made it sound as if Canada was a frightened boy living with a sane family. Though, he could hardly consider anything that's happened over the time living with Russia, sane. Was Russia trying to get Canada to tell him today what he was going to last night? Canada really didn't want to tell Russia, it would be too strange. There would also probably be a harsh punishment waiting for him too. If Canada told Russia what he really wanted to say, Russia no doubt would skin Canada alive for wanting to be more than just friends, mostly because it would seem as if he was trying to get between Russia and China. So, instead, Canada's eyes focused on his breakfast again. He hoped Russia would drop the subject and talk about something else, but Russia's sight did not stray from Canada.

"Matvey... Friends do not keep secrets from each other~" Russia said, impatiently waiting.

Canada felt he was going to die for sure, or ruin his friendship with Russia if he didn't tell him. Then again, he'd end up ruining it anyway if he told him.

"S-S-Some t-things are b-better left un s-said" Canada finally answered.

Russia gave Canada a weird look as if to ask 'what are you hiding?'.

"D-did you book a flight to Ontario?" Canada asked.

"Da... and don't try to change the subject Matvey" Russia said as he got up from his seat.

"U-um sir?" Latvia said shakily.

"You three" Russia growled as he glared at the baltics.

The baltics all huddled together as if that was the only way to protect each other, both Estonia and Lithuania held onto to Latvia, who was in the middle, terrified of Russia's anger.

"Go make yourselves useful and clean the dishes... I need to talk to Matvey alone"

The baltics replied with a rapid nod altogether before grabbing the dishes and dashing into the kitchen. Then, Russia glanced back at Canada, who was also afraid of Russia at the moment, and approached him as Canada got up from his seat and took a couple steps away.

"I'm tired of secrets... first let us start with secret number one" Russia scowled as he completely cornered Canada, both hands on the wall making sure Canada couldn't run away, "What were you going to say to me last night?"

Canada began to stutter. If he told Russia how he felt, he was dead, if he didn't he was dead. What could he do? He tried to move further back, but he was already fully cornered as it was.

"I-I..." Canada whispered. He took a deep breath before continuing, "I can't tell you... I-I'm sorry..."

"Why not?"

"...It would ruin our friendship..."

Russia's glare faded. He was more than curious now.

"That bad...?"

Canada lowered his head. No emotion on his face. Chances of Canada keeping Russia's trust now was close to zero.

"I'm so sorry, Ivan..."

Russia took his hands off the wall, allowing Canada to move away if he wanted to, but Canada did nothing but feel guilty.

"I see..." Russia said, "Then you can make it up to me"

"...How...?" Canada asked as his sad eyes peeked up at Russia.

"For one thing, you can stop worrying so much, Da? For another, you can give me another hug"

Canada looked up at Russia, amazed that he wasn't mad and that he was taking it so easy on Canada now. Canada could have jumped with joy right there, but instead he held it in and just gave Russia a teary, almost sad, smile before immediately tackling him into a hug. He didn't manage knock to him over this time however, but that was a good thing. A small blush appeared on Russia's face as he smiled gently. He wrapped his arms around Canada and held him as gentle and comfortably as possible. Meanwhile, the baltics peeked out of the kitchen, first Latvia, then Lithuania, then Estonia.

"Mr. Russia has never been this forgiving before... not to us anyway" Estonia said.

"Y-you don't suppose... Mr. Russia actually... well" Lithuania paused for a moment as he took another look at the two, "is falling for Canada?" he whispered.

"I-Is that possible?" Latvia asked as he looked up at Lithuania, "I-I mean, what are the chances?"

"...one percent perhaps?" Estonia replied, making the other two think about this for a moment.

Then, just as Russia let go of Canada the baltics ran back into the kitchen, knowing that if they got caught they'd be beaten for sure.

"Baltics~" Russia called with a much more cheery voice, "Come, we are leaving now"

"A-Already sir?" Lithuania asked as he stepped out of the kitchen with the others.

"Da, get your coats on"

It seemed as if Russia really did want the baltics to come along too. That was good.

:::

The plane was right on time, thankfully. Canada knew the place he wanted to take Russia to was much better to look at in the day time rather than at night. The boarded their plane. Once they found their seats, they put up their luggage and sat down. Canada beside Russia, Lithuania and Estonia behind them... and Latvia who was in front of Russia and Canada, sat next to some strange man who, seemed to be hitting on him. Canada felt a little concerned for Latvia's sake.

"...Ivan?" he said in a worried tone.

"Da?"

"Latvia is-"

"-I know..." Russia interrupted, "He can take care of himself, do not worry"

Suddenly a loud 'smack' and the man sitting next to Latvia was knocked out cold. Latvia still trembled in his seat, like always, but he seemed fine now.

"See?" Russia said.

"...oh..."

Everyone had boarded, the plane was getting ready to lift off. Russia set his elbow on the chair arm as he rested his chin on his hand, staring out the window. His expression had no emotion, but judging by his posture, Canada would have guessed he was bored. Finally, the plane was at the run way. It began to speed up and once fast enough, fly up into the sky. Canada sat back into his seat and fidgeted with his fingernails for while before his eyes focused on Russia. Russia's expression did not change, his eyes did not move, even as clouds passed by. He seemed to be deep in thought. Canada wanted to talk to him during the trip, maybe to get to know him more, but he also didn't want to interrupt his train of thought. Maybe, if he did get his attention, it would be ok. So, Canada lifted his hand and tapped Russia's shoulder. Russia blinked before sitting straight and looking at Canada with a calm smile.

"Da?"

The way Russia looked at him in that moment, it made Canada blush. He kept his mouth shut, but his eyes grew a little as he stared.

"N-nothing!" Canada said as he quickly faced the front again, same face expression, but he kept his hands on his legs as he stared down, _Oh no, this stupid feeling. It's getting worse... i-it was just a smile though..._

Then, Canada felt Russia's arm wrap around him. Canada looked up to see Russia's smile turn childish.

"Matvey~ You wanted something, now tell me what it is"

"J-Just wanted to talk"

"Oh? Then why did you hesitate to tell me that?"

"S-Sorry, I-I guess I'm just nervous"

Russia took his arm off of Canada and placed both hands on his lap as he continued to talk to him.

"Do not be nervous Matvey, plane's do not crash all the time" Russia said cheerfully, though, this did not help Canada feel any better.

"...Y-Yes... I know..." It took Canada a couple of seconds to realize what he said wrong, before fixing it, "I-I mean Da! Da, I know!"

Russia only stared curiously at Canada in an awkward silence. Canada tried to think of something else to say, but as usual... couldn't, probably not until a little while later. He clutched the bottom of his sweater, nervous about his growing feelings for Russia. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea... perhaps it would be good to separate from Russia and never see him or speak to him again. _

"Matvey"

"Eh?" Canada glanced up at Russia.

Russia gave him a somewhat stern yet at the same time, confused look. Was saying 'yes' instead of 'Da' really that bad to him? Or was it something else Canada must have done to upset him?

"You seem to be very jumpy lately, and when I say that I mean more than when you first got here. We are friends now... are you still afraid of me?"

"N-No... I'm really not afraid of you Ivan..." Canada lied, he was afraid of him a little, from time to time, but that fear was mostly caused by the fear of Russia finding out Canada's true feelings for him. How could he actually tell Russia what he wanted?

"Then why do you act like you are afraid to talk to me sometimes?"

"...I-I..."

Russia nodded as if he understood what was going on. Though, Canada was a little unsure himself if Russia really did know what was going on.

"It's that secret you're keeping from me, Da?"

Did he know? Did he actually figure it out? Canada gulped. He was nervous just thinking about it. He stared at the seat in front of him trying not to make eye contact with Russia as he sunk in his chair. Russia grinned.

"Hmph... so this secret of yours really is a dangerous thing to tell then, Da? Seeing as it is bugging you so much"

Canada did not answer back. Instead he kept his mouth shut.

"Why would it ruin our friendship Matvey? Would it insult me in any way?"

"I-I hope not! I'd never intentionally insult you..."

"...I am not trying to get you to tell me what it is, though I would truly like to know" Russia said as he folded his arms and looked out the window again. Both were quiet. Canada felt as if he had just made things worse, until Russia changed the subject this time, "So, where is this place you want to show me. Or is that another secret?"

"U-um... it is... kind of... b-but I can tell you it is very warm there, not cold at all around this time"

Russia's face lit up with joy. Canada knew Russia would be more than happy to go somewhere warm. Russia had always wanted it, as far as he knew.

:::

Hours later, the plane was finally landing. Once on the ground, and ready for passengers to step off, Russia, Canada and the baltics grabbed their belongings and stepped off the plane. The airport was pretty crowded. People making their way to their destinations, just like them. Once out of the building, they got a bus to help take them to where they need to go. The bus they had chosen was sure to take them to the city where Canada could get them rooms in a nice enough hotel. Knowing how this time of year wasn't great for vacation time, it was still perfect for Canada. Perfect because of the warm weather, but also for the little traveling there would be. Canada knew that even if it was always cold in Russia. At least there were warm days in Canada. It was good this way, Canada felt he was giving Russia an opportunity see something he had probably only dreamt of before. It didn't take too long for them to find a nice hotel, of course, Canada was all too familiar with this place anyway, he could find his way around his country blindfolded if he wanted to. Which reminded him... He pulled out a long piece of cloth as he stepped off the bus with the others. He turned to Russia and smiled, making Russia wonder what he had in mind.

"Ok, turn around, I'll put this over your eyes, eh?"

"...Why?" Russia asked.

"I want to surprise you"

Russia didn't seem too keen on the idea of being blindfolded, his expression gave that away.

"How do I know you won't stab me in the back?" He asked in a threatening tone.

Canada wasn't intimidated this time though. He knew Russia was just trying to put up a barrier to protect himself.

"Trust me..." Canada said with a much more reassuring smile.

Russia groaned, then turned around. The baltics watched, worried if Canada was going to try to actually run for it after blind folding him, but they remained quiet. Canada then wrapped the cloth around Russia's head, covering his eyes.

"Lithuania, can you get us a room in the hotel please?" Canada said as he tied the cloth tight enough so Russia wouldn't be able to peek, but loose enough so it wouldn't hurt.

"Ok" Lithuania said before heading into the hotel.

"How will I be able to know where I am going, Matvey?" Russia complained.

"Don't worry, I'll help you" Canada as he wrapped an arm around Russia's.

Russia didn't seem too comfortable with this, but could Canada blame him? He hadn't had a reason to trust anyone before, really, but it was good he was trying.

"You seem to be in a much happier mood now, Da?"

"Da"

Soon enough Lithuania came back to the group in time to see Russia fully blindfolded.

"Um..." He said before taking his eyes off Russia, to look at Canada, "I-I have the card keys"

"Ok. Please hold on to them. I'm going to take Ivan to that place I told him about"

So Canada, arm locked with Russia's, walked towards the one place he wanted to show Russia, the baltics following behind.

"How far is this place?" Estonia asked.

"Not far" Canada answered, still smiling.

Even if they were in a city somewhere in the province of Ontario, they were practically on the edge of the city. Close enough to their hotel and close enough to the special place. It was perfect. Once it was in sight. The baltics gasped, altogether as they stared amazed.

"I-Is that it?" Latvia asked more than just surprised.

"Yup" Canada giggled.

"Ah? What is it?" Russia asked impatiently almost touching the blindfold.

"Uh uh!" Canada immediately grabbed Russia's hand before he could touch the blindfold, "Just wait... ok!"

Russia stopped where he was and removed the blindfold. His eyes grew fully. He dropped the cloth, unknowingly as he stared stunned, shocked, **amazed **at what he was looking at.

"M...Matvey... this is what you wanted to show me?"

XXX

Oh, what could it be? Anyway, sorry for any typo's or error's. I really tried to make a good long chapter. Wait till next update.


	18. The truth comes out

Fast update is fast... Enjoy. ^^

XXX

A field of sunflowers, a beautiful sky right over it. The sun shining its light on the flowers making them appear more radiant than the ones that Russia had only seen in pictures or flower shops. A gentle breeze flowing through the field made everything that much better. Russia's expression did not change as he stepped towards the field. He walked towards the tallest flower nearest to him. It was just as tall as he was. He removed his gloves and brushed the soft petals gently. Canada couldn't help but smile at Russia's reaction. He had never seen a real sunflower field before. Russia smiled as he took his hand off the flower. He could barely contain his excitement; he quickly slipped his gloves back on and grabbed Canada's hand before suddenly bolting straight into the field with him, running through it with a big smile on his face, laughing as if he were a five year old in candy land. The baltics watch in amazement, mostly Lithuania, who was the most stunned by Russia's reaction to just a simple sunflower field.

"I...I have never seen Mr. Russia so happy before..." Lithuania said as he gawked at his master's actions.

"Yeah..." Was all Estonia could say.

"...D-Do you think that Mr. Russia will be nicer to us after this?" Latvia asked as he looked to Lithuania for an answer.

"Well, he'll be a lot nicer to Canada now... that's for sure"

The baltics looked at each other, feeling like the only mature ones in the entire group as they watched Russia and Canada run deeper into the field.

Canada couldn't help but blush as Russia kept hold of his hand. He felt his heart beat faster, he didn't want this, but the feelings he had been trying so hard to ignore were growing each day. He kept his eyes on Russia as he continued to run.

"I-Ivan, d-don't you think this is far enough?"

"нет! I'm going to keep running until I'm lost forever in this field!"

"Eh! I-it's not **that** big!"

Finally, Russia slowed down then stopped where he was. Canada wondered if what he said was wrong, especially since he didn't want to ruin Russia's perfect moment.

"Ivan?" He said worried, trying to look at Russia's face.

Russia let go of Canada's hand and wrapped his arms around a bunch of flowers, hugging them gently so they wouldn't snap, as he let the soft petals brush against his cheek.

"Matvey" Russia said, his voice softer than usual and much less frightening.

"Da?"

Russia let go of the flowers and straightened himself again before turning his attention to Canada. His smile, gentle and his eyes, beautiful. Canada could feel his face burning up, the blush that showed before grew. He immediately turned away from Russia, trying not to show the giant red blush that covered his face. He hugged himself tightly as he tried to snap himself out of the feeling that was growing inside his heart. _Stupid stupid, c-can't I just do a good deed for Ivan without having these emotions come back to haunt me? _

Then, Canada felt Russia's arms around him. He pulled Canada's body close to his into a tight, yet comfortable hug. Canada's jaw dropped and his eyes grew, as well as the blush on his face.

"Thank you, Matvey" Russia whispered.

Canada could only let out stuttered squeaks as he tried to say something back to Russia. He couldn't let these feelings win. If he did, who knew what Russia would do? He especially did not want to do this to Russia when he was so happy. Canada tried to escape from Russia's hold, but Russia did not let go. He couldn't simply say 'please let go', that might ruin Russia's happy moment as well. Canada was stuck, he couldn't take being with Russia like this. Surrounded by beautiful sunflowers on a more than just 'perfect' day, trapped in Russia's arms, it was torture.

"Y-You're welcome... Ivan" Canada finally managed to say.

Russia let go of Canada, but only for a moment. He turned Canada around to give him a proper hug. His big warm arms around Canada's body once more, one hand on Canada's head allowing Canada to rest his head on Russia's chest. He was already warm in the winter when he hugged Canada, but now, he was much warmer, much softer, much more gentle. Canada could have fallen asleep in his arms right there, and died happy if he could have. He had never made Russia so happy before, this feeling of a brand new accomplishment came to him. He raised his arms, and gently wrapped his arms around Russia, clutching the back of his coat as he held on tightly. He closed his eyes and smiled, sad he would never be able to say what he wanted, sad he could never even whisper-

"...Je t'aime"

"Uh?"

Canada's eyes shot open as he realized what he had just said. Immediately he pushed himself away from Russia and backed away. He hoped, nay, prayed to himself that Russia didn't know what that meant.

"N-Nothing! I-I didn't say anything!" He said in a panicked tone as he stepped further back.

Russia only stared in curiosity before walking towards Canada.

"What did you just say Matvey? It was French..."

Russia didn't look mad at all, just curious as he continued to approach Canada. Suddenly before Canada could take another step back Russia grabbed his arm making Canada gasp in fear. Russia bent over until he was face to face with Canada.

"Tell me" He said, his expression calm. Canada just wanted to give up right there and then and just say it. But it wasn't that easy.

"I-It's that s-secret, the s-s-secret that I-I c-can't tell you" Canada answered.

It seemed that now, no matter what he did, everything would come right back to just that one secret he couldn't let escape his mouth again. How could he have slipped up so badly? Now for sure Russia would try to find out what it meant, what Canada had just said to him.

"hmm..." Russia straightened himself as he grinned at Canada's behaviour towards just this one simple thing, "Very well then, I will find out as soon as we go back to the hotel"

Just before Russia walk away, back to the baltics, Canada immediately grabbed his coat sleeve, stopping him from going anywhere.

"NO!" He cried, his hands shaking and his eyes pleading Russia to just stay out of it, "P-Please... Ivan, d-don't do this to me! I-I don't want our friendship to die because of something like this!"

"How can something so little as **Je t'aime **ruin our friendship?"

"Y-you don't even know what it means!"

"...I do not understand you Matvey, is it an insult? If so, then why would you want to hide an insult from me? Why would you be my friend if you wanted to insult me in the first place?"

"I-it's not an insult..."

Russia did not glare, he did not seem mad, but right now, he was most likely confused and hurt. Canada never felt more ashamed in his life having caused this pain to someone he cared about so much. Russia took Canada's hand once again and led him out of the sunflower field. Canada, just by saying that one thing he dared to never say, had just destroyed the most memorable moment in Russia's life. It seemed as if no matter how hard he tried he'd always mess up everything for Russia, it would be best if he were on his own again. Then, he wouldn't unintentionally hurt Russia anymore, not like this.

Once they made it out of the field, Russia just smiled at the baltics, it was that usual child like smile, but at least he didn't seem as hurt as Canada thought he was.

"Mr. Russia, I'm so glad you came back" Lithuania said, "The clouds seem to be getting darker over the city... w-we should go back to the hotel now"

"...Da" Russia said, only standing in that one place wearing a sad smile on his face.

Lithuania led the way as Russia and the others followed close behind. Canada couldn't help but feel guilty, but, at the same time he wondered why Russia would still hold his hand, even after all that had happened.

"...I-Ivan..." Canada whispered at his softest.

"Da?"

"I... I didn't... I d-didn't mean to ruin everything for you... I'm sorry"

"Matvey" Russia said as he turned his head a little to see Canada, "I'm not mad at you... not yet anyway"

"N-not yet?"

"Da, I need to know what you said first, then if I do not like it, I will be mad with you"

Canada cursed to himself, he should have kept his mouth shut. As soon as they get to the hotel, he knew for sure that Russia would try to figure it out somehow. How that would be he didn't know.

Finally, they had reached the hotel. Entering the building seemed like he was walking into a death trap. The group made their way upstairs to their rooms. Canada gulped as soon as Lithuania handed Russia his card key, telling him that Russia and Canada would have to share a room... alone, while the other three would have to stay in the room next to theirs. All Canada really wanted right now was faint, or just disappear, or just be invisible again. This all started with him just joining his brother in that stupid war, if he hadn't, he'd still be his own country, him and Russia would have never met like they did, he'd still be invisible and safe, unknown to the world still, but no... today was the day he was going to regret. Once in the room, the door closed, Russia let go of Canada's hand and headed for the phone. Canada backed away, then turned and grabbed the door handle, ready to escape.

"Matvey, don't you dare go try to leave"

Canada knew he couldn't disobey now, it would just make things worse for him.

"...C-c-can I at least wait outside the room?"

Russia nodded before speaking.

"Da, but do not go anywhere"

Russia picked up the phone and dialled the number. Canada couldn't help but feel curious to who he was calling.

"Hello France"

France? Of course him, the one person Russia knew could speak fluent French. Immediately, Canada opened the door and slammed it shut behind him. Russia only stared at the door, worried.

Meanwhile, outside the room, all Canada could do was fidget, and wait. His hands got sweaty just thinking about how mad Russia would be towards him. _What will I do? I-I-f he finds out... no, papa wouldn't tell him... would he? _Canada turned around and opened the door enough so he could poke his head in the room.

In the room, Russia began to chat with France.

"So~ What did you need, Russia?"

"I need you to translate something for me"

"Hmm? What is it?"

Russia looked at the door to see Canada peeking in. Canada just watched worried for his life. _Just calm down..._ He thought, _ F-France won't tell him, he just can't..._

"It is Je t'aime…" Russia said as he kept his eyes on Canada.

"What! Someone actually said that to you?"

"Ah? Da... what does it mean?"

Canada could only watch as Russia was so close to knowing what Canada had been hiding for so long now, whispering under his breath 'please papa, don't tell him' over and over.

"Well then... it is French for, I love you"

Russia gasped, the phone slipped from his hand and to the floor as he stood there frozen. All he could hear was France's voice repeating his name, wondering what had happened.

XXX

Not a long chapter, but I had fun writing it. Wait till next update.


	19. His secret

Well, here's the next part. Enjoy. ^^

XXX

Canada watched, horrified by Russia's reaction. France had told him. His secret was out. He closed the door and trembled, eyes wide as he stared at the door, just waiting for Russia to bust it down in full rage. After just this short time of being Russia's friend, it was all gone now. His trust, the kindness he had shown Canada, everything. He waited, for what felt like minutes, for Russia to come outside. Nothing happened. Canada approached the door with caution, step by baby step. He reached his hand out to the handle, but before he could touch it, the door opened. Russia stood there, eyes on Canada as he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him. Canada's eyes got bigger, sweat trickled down his face, neither of the two saying a word in the uncomfortable silence. If there was a time to escape Russia, it would be now. Just as Russia took one step toward him, Canada immediately dashed for his life.

"Matvey!" Russia shouted as he chased after.

"L-Leave me alone! Please!"

The baltics, and a few other people stepped out of their rooms to see what the yelling was about.

Canada ran all the way to the main lobby, he changed direction trying to bolt out the door all too quickly, causing him to trip and fall, but he only jumped back up and continued to run. Once outside, his clothes and hair now becoming wet from the rain that had appeared soon after the dark clouds did, he glanced quickly looking in all directions for some place to hide.

"...Matvey"

Canada spun around to see Russia near the door to the hotel. People watching the two from inside the building. Canada backed away from him as Russia tried to get closer, but once gain Canada ran for it.

"Stop!" Russia yelled, his voice sounding angry, or so, it sounded to Canada.

Canada looked back to see if Russia was following him, just to see Russia catching up. Canada's heart raced, he glanced in front of him again picking up his pace, trying so hard to run faster than he had ever done before. Soon enough he was sprinting pass everyone and everything, panting hard, glancing back occasionally until Russia was no longer in sight. He slowed down his pace and hid in the nearest alleyway he could find. No way out but back as the walls around him cornered him, but that didn't bother him, he lost Russia. He bent over, hands on knees, panting hard trying to catch his breath. He got on his knees, and placed his hands on the wall in front of him. Never before had been so terrified in his entire life. He knew Russia didn't like people getting too close to him, and Canada was no exception. He knew this... now more than ever he'd have to try and get his freedom back.

"Ivan... I'm sorry..." He said to himself as his hands slid down the wall, to the ground.

_It's better this way, if I stay away from him, become invisible again... I can have my old life back... _

"Did you really think you could outrun me, Matvey?"

Canada glanced back to see Russia standing behind him. Just when he thought he was safe, Russia had found him. His eyes grew to their fullest and his mouth hung open. He was trapped, worse than just trapped, he'd soon be dead. Russia kneeled down and reached out his hand to Canada, but before Russia could even touch Canada, he winced away as he whimpered. He shut his eyes tightly awaiting the pain that was soon to come, He's _going to grab my hair and drag me again for sure! _Then, he felt Russia's hand gently place itself on his head. His hand slid from Canada's head to his back, to his arm, then to his hand. He placed his other hand on Canada's as well. Canada could only watch as Russia grabbed both Canada's hands, then bring them up making Canada wrap his own arms around him, as well as Russia's. What did Russia have in mind? What was he doing?

"So... this was the secret that would ruin our friendship?" Russia said.

Canada could only nod as he gulped, praying for mercy.

"You are right, it did ruin our friendship"

Canada's eyes saddened in hearing this from Russia, the only man who could remember Canada existed for more than two minutes. Canada lost everything he had worked so hard for, Russia's trust, his kindness, everything.

"I-I swear, R-Russia... I-I was never going to tell you..." Canada whispered.

"Oh?"

"I never meant for you to find out... b-but the feelings, t-they grew inside of me... I couldn't help it... it just slipped out... Forgive me Russia..."

"...Ivan..."

Canada lifted his head, his eyes peeking to look at Russia as he turned his head a little.

"...P-Pardon?" He said softly.

"I like it better when you call me Ivan"

Canada blinked in confusion, he didn't understand it. Why was Russia torturing him more like this? Was this just the start of his punishment?

"Matvey, you'll get a heart attack if you keep this up" Russia said as he sat Canada on his lap, allowing him to lay his head on his chest. He opened his coat and, while still wearing it, wrapped it around Canada, then held him gently, "I do not want my favourite to get sick"

Canada felt so confused. He reached his hand up to Russia's chest, and clutched his shirt, hand shaking from the cold rain. He felt so warm and comfortable in Russia's arms, he wanted to stay there forever, but he knew he couldn't have that.

"Ivan..." Canada said in a shaky voice, "W-Why are you being so nice to me?"

Russia smiled softly.

"I am not mad, Matvey... I am glad you said what you said"

"B-but... you said it ruined our friendship..."

"Da... it did"

Russia lowered his head, then gently kissed the top of Canada's head. _Don't do this to me... don't torture me like this..._ Canada could feel his face burning up. All he really wanted then, was to get away, he shouldn't have started falling for Russia in the first place. He couldn't help it though, everything had told him that Russia perfect.

"...S-Stop...please..." Canada whispered.

"Why?"

"You're hurting me... stop teasing me..."

"...uh?"

Canada should have just pushed Russia away, right then and there... but he couldn't bring himself to do it. His trembling hand pushed against his chest, trying to encourage his own body to move away, but he was so comfortable there. Russia then took Canada in his arms carrying him in a bridal style and stood up before heading back to the hotel. Canada blushed, just by being in Russia's arms like this. He didn't like it, still loving Russia even though he knew for sure everything was gone. Then, he heard Russia giggle. He looked up at him, waiting to see if he'd say what was so funny.

"Matvey... you are too cute"

Canada's blush grew, was Russia trying to tease him just because he had told him the truth?

"D-Don't make fun of me..."

The look Russia gave Canada, it made him feel weak, but he liked it. He tried so hard to push away the feeling, that re-occurring feeling that never seemed to leave him alone when it came to Russia... only this time, the feeling was too strong. It was taking over his mind, his heart, his body. Canada stared at Russia, eyes calm, but with a little worry.

"Ivan..."

Finally they made it back to the hotel. Russia entered the building and headed back to their room, ignoring the staring eyes. Once near the door, Latvia was the first to stick his nose into Russia's business.

"Mr. R-Russia! W-What happened?"

"None of your business Latvia, go back to your room"

Russia slipped the card key into the door and opened it. Once inside the room he closed the door with his foot. He walked over to the bed and set Canada down on it.

"Get into your pj's, it is getting close to night time anyway"

Canada only stared at the ceiling, feeling defeated. He couldn't simply resist anymore. He sat up and watched Russia look through his luggage for his night time clothes. _Don't do it_ Canada thought to himself, trying to warn himself to stay away from Russia. _He seems so, kind now... to me... but why?_ Canada tried to gather as many answers as he possibly could. _What if he is mad, what if he's just not showing it? _Canada put his feet on the ground. He stood up and walked towards Russia just as Russia stood up. He felt as if he couldn't control himself any longer, every warning in his body and mind shut down, only responding to what the heart was saying.

"Ivan...?"

Russia turned to see Canada, tears streaming down his face. He didn't want to do this, for fear of being rejected, for fear of being hurt, but those feelings left as soon as they came.

"Matvey? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Russia was so beautiful to Canada. His eyes, his hair, his face, everything. Canada shut his eyes and wrapped his arms around Russia's body as he buried his face into Russia's chest. Russia gawked, curious for a moment. Then, he smiled as he wrapped his arms around Canada.

"...I can't take it" Canada whimpered as he held on tighter.

"What do you mean?"

Canada looked up at Russia, eyes blurred with tears and a small blush on his face.

"I-I can't take it anymore... j...just do what you want with me"

Russia blinked, curious once more.

"...What?"

"Y...You can make f-fun of me all you want, tease me, hurt me emotionally and physically... b-but I stand by what I said! I love you Ivan!"

Canada's hands gripped Russia's coat as he lay his head on Russia's chest. Letting all the tears out, letting his feelings for Russia finally take over.

"Go ahead, hate me..."

Canada couldn't care one bit if Russia teased him just because he was in love with him. He would welcome it with open arms, as long as it was Russia giving him kisses, holding him, whatever.

"...You think I never liked you, Matvey?" Russia said as he pet Canada's head, his touch gentle, "You remember when I first found you, lying on the ground. I really did think you were beautiful... unfortunately I did not treat you as well as I should have. Yet, you greeted me with hugs, and came to see me when I was alone..." Russia placed his hands on Canada's face and lifted his head so he could see him better as he spoke, "...you made my dream a reality"

"...I-I knew, you'd like the sunflowers... s-so-"

"-It wasn't the sunflowers"

Canada stared, confused. If it wasn't the sunflowers, then what could have made his dream a reality? What did Canada do?

"You... Matvey. You gave yourself to me, you showed me kindness, respect, someone I could trust"

"Y...You, you mean...?"

"Da... to be honest, I always liked the way you hugged me"

Russia's hand slid down from Canada's face to his shoulder, while the other hand slipped itself under his chin as he leaned in close to Canada's face.

"I wonder what it feels like to be kissed by you, now"

Canada's face turned dark red at that moment. Russia's words, they way he spoke to him, Canada found it hard to resist. He couldn't take it. The last bit of resistance he had left in him had died. Immediately he grabbed Russia's scarf and pulled him close to his face, kissing him deeply. His mind went blank, only thinking of Russia, his heart thumped happily inside his chest. Russia's love, something that Canada had always wanted. Russia had allowed this, he allowed someone to love him... and that someone was Canada. Finally, Canada pulled away from the kiss. The kiss itself, it was the most wonderful thing Canada had ever experienced... but then, both Canada and Russia stared. Canada could only wonder what was wrong with Russia. Russia's face turned red, mouth shut. Canada's only thought was that maybe he overdid it. He backed away looking away.

"I-I'm sorry..." He looked back at Russia, giving him a shy, sad smile and tilted his head as he spoke, "I-I'll go get dressed into my pj's"

Just staring at his face, Russia's eyes grew and his blush darkened. Canada felt a little worried, he turned to walk away, but before he could take two steps Russia grabbed his arms suddenly and pushed him on the bed, pinning him there. He grinned in a way that made Canada shudder.

"I'm not done with you yet" Russia said before pressing his lips against Canada's into a passionate kiss. Canada moaned into the kiss. He then felt Russia's hands let go of his arms letting him move them freely, but only so he could slide them up Canada's shirt. Canada pulled away from the kiss in shock. He knew what Russia was planning, but it was going too fast. Russia then kissed Canada's neck roughly.

"Sir?" Came Lithuania's voice, "Sorry to barge in but I- EYAAAAH! MR. RUSSIA!"

"Uh?" Russia said, snapping out of his love sickness.

He stared at the panting Canada, then turned his attention to Lithuania.

"You did not knock" Russia said angrily.

"I-I did, s-sir! B-but w-well, u-um"

Apparently Lithuania had a key card to their room as well... well he was the one who had gotten the rooms for them, he had probably done that in case of emergencies, worried as to why Russia chased after Canada in the first place, but right now, this was more of a strange find for him.

"Um... I-I'll leave you two alone now... s-sir"

Lithuania immediately bolted out the door shutting it behind him. He sighed.

"Oh my..."

Meanwhile back in the room. Russia looked back down at Canada and kissed his cheek softly before getting off of him. Canada sat up and watched what looked like an embarrassed Russia taking his pj's, which was just a shirt and pants, and headed to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Matvey... I shouldn't have done that to you..."

"Ivan"

Russia stopped and glanced back at Canada. Canada wasn't upset with him at all; instead he gave him a reassuring smile.

"It's ok"

Russia smiled back and nodded before disappearing around the corner. The door clicked, letting Canada know that Russia was now in the bathroom, door closed. Canada put his hand to his heart, he could feel it beating, but when he thought of Russia it beat faster. He smiled softly. _He does love me..._ Canada lay back on the bed, keeping his hand on his heart as he stared at the ceiling. _Now, I shouldn't have to worry anymore... right? _He closed his eyes and breathed calmly as he let his heart calm down.

_...right?_

XXX

Wait till next update? Maybe? If people want too see more.


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